Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
I have made lots of fun of the cat people over the years. Not because I don’t like cats. In fact, I love them. It’s just that so much of the cat merchandise is so hilariously tragic. But now, the feral cat we sometimes feed has had kittens. Not just regular, everyday cute kittens. No, these are the most unbearably adorable kittens ever. Fuckers. We are committed to resisting pets until after our house has been raised (which could be at least a year away), but these little bastards aren’t making it easy. I’ve started to go squee in my sleep. Light a candle for me.
So to keep my feline maternal instincts in check, here’s a parade of cat-related awfuls. Enjoy!