Etsomnia™ 92: Daddy Issues

June 2, 2016 by Donna from One Beautiful Thing 21 Comments

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Here’s what I think of you! This “Upcycled” suitcase medicine cabinet may be my best Etsy find of all time.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

Father’s Day is in a couple of weeks, so I wanted to make sure you had some time to shop for those Very Special Etsy Gifts!!! The items in today’s post are all listed as suitable* Father’s Day gifts. Etsy’s gift suggestions include the traditional – tasteful neckties, handkerchiefs, slippers, coffee mugs – and the less traditional – art, accessories, clothing, felted things, and other tasteful items.

*Individual results may vary.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Awwwww! By giftforbestfriends

Unless your dad is this guy, I’m not sure this will be well received.

What do you give the man who has everything? Well, not this, I hope.

It’s cards like this that make me extra grateful to be adopted. By spiffylittlecards

I love how this guy looks like he’s barely holding back tears. Presumably tears of joy, of course.

I was all ready to make fun of this "Real men love cats" sling, then I read it's to help abused animals feel safe and realized I am an asshole. By SimplySphynx

I was all ready to make fun of this “Real men love cats” sling, then I read it’s to help abused animals feel safe. It was then that I remembered I am an asshole.

That’s okay. I don’t need a towel. I’ll just air dry.

I’ll bet Freud would have something to say about Etsy’s ongoing obsession with penises. By badjamminmammie

Butthead. By LOLLIDZ

Happy Father’s Day! Here’s… this.

I know quite a few fathers who would suffer an instant “allergy attack” if they received this from their daughters. By TheCenterFold

I'm not sure why this is tagged "Father's Day" unless it's for dads who want to neither see nor hear their wives. It's a shaddup sweater. By TanglesCreations

The perfect gift for dads who want to neither see nor hear their wives.

If you must have a wreath (and really, must you?), here’s the one to have. By primsandproper

Sure, it's an ugly, framed, solved puzzle, but the $1,300 price tag will let Dad know you care. By PremiumPuzzles

Sure, it’s an ugly, framed, already-solved puzzle, but the $1,300 price tag will let Dad know you care.

For the right guy, this would be the absolute perfect gift. By CrazyFawkesArtLab

This would be the absolute perfect gift for the right guy. Like this kid’s dad, for example. By CrazyFawkesArtLab

Find out the make, model, and year of your father's first car, and give him a framed vintage ad for Father's Day! By IcicleGarden

A framed vintage ad featuring your father’s first car would for sure be a welcome gift! By IcicleGarden

Roadkill teabag holder. Maybe if your dad is this guy.

Once I figured out this lip balm was made with ANISE and not what I originally thought it said, I concluded it would make a pretty good gift. ANISE. By TheCreativeRedBarn

Once I figured out this lip balm was made with ANISE, I concluded it would make a pretty good gift. Still don’t know what’s up with the name, though. By TheCreativeRedBarn. ANISE.