Etsomnia™ 99: Exotica

July 21, 2016 by Donna from MyOBT 29 Comments

The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. So there you go.

The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. They forgot to mention the main material, ugly.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

“Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic!” -Annie Savoy in Bull Durham

“Exotic” is one of those terms that pops up at the most unexpected times in random Etsy searches. When I think of exotic, I think of wood items or plants or insects or stripper wear or other crotch-related stuff. But some Etsy sellers are applying the term in surprising ways. For example, you’ll be clicking along, browsing the clothing section, when BAM! Out of nowhere up pops an Exotic Vest with Bug Design!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

These are creepy/fascinating monkey face orchids. Now THIS is what I call exotic! By Exoticseedshop

There's nothing sexier than stripper clothing made in arts & crafts class!

It reminds me of the car wash, yet it does not make me feel clean.

I made one of these at the last 3 bridal showers I attended. Mine were made of toilet paper, too!

I made one of these at the last two bridal showers I attended. Mine were made of toilet paper, too!

We make a frozen drink in Fire Island we call the Banana Bad Idea (bananas, ice, vodka, & chocolate syrup). This is more of a bad banana idea.

Funny, that’s not how I use my coasters.

Exotic wood longboard. Gorgeous! By
Croozerboards

There’s so much fabric missing from these pants, their only purpose is to confuse you when you go to the bathroom.

Very modest pasties with a turtleneck, for when your family comes to watch you dance.

Pasties with a turtleneck, because even strippers get cold.

Okay, just one more orchid. How nuts are these Dancing Naked Men orchids? Dudes, I can see your stamens! By FancyGarden

These are surreal Dancing Naked Men orchids. Dudes, put something on. I can see your stamens! By FancyGarden

These shredded “exotic shorts” are all the rage with the 85 and over crowd!

I'm not sure exotic is the first word that comes to mind here.

Exotic is not the word I’d use to describe this… item.

Exotic flower girl pail, presumably for her to vomit into once she sees what the Etsy-dressed bride is wearing.

If I were to attempt this, I would just look like I’d had a jewelry mishap. However, on her, it’s gorgeous! By ExoticNoseChains

Every year, thousands of Muppets are killed to support the rave clothing trade. Donate today to stop these senseless murders.

People of Walmart, stripper edition.

You know how in some cultures, growing your pinkie nail extra long indicates that you don't do manual labor? Well, this full hand plus ring tells the world you don't have a job at all. Or any taste or sense, either.

You know how in some cultures, growing your pinkie nail extra long indicates that you don’t do manual labor? Well, this full-hand-and-then-some ring tells the world you don’t have a job. Or taste. Or friends with taste.