
$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
As you know, Etsy sells all kinds of stuff, and the prices go from a few cents on up to more than a half a million dollars. Sure, some of the higher-end items are totally worth the price tag; for example, “real estates,” cars, boats, airports, and other specialty items that are difficult to purchase elsewhere. But I suspect the sellers of some of the highest-priced items are either joking, under the influence of “Lots of Wine,” profoundly delusional, confused about the exchange rate, or just really sloppy typists. If you have a few (hundred) thousands burning a hole in your pocket, Etsy will take care of that with a wide selection of political art ($250K), smells ($100K), a “beach friend” ($250K)” the mother of all engagement rings ($99,999.99), a middle school girl’s collage ($250K), all the Beanie Babies ($250K), a souvenir belt ($249K), the world’s most expensive penny ($237K), Lady Gaga’s ugliest shoes ($250K), imaginary vintage sushi ($100K), or a rap beat ($250K).
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

$21,000+. Like everything else they make, this conference table by VintageIndustrial makes me go all tingly! (Then the price makes me pass right out.) I really need to find a bucket of money.

$250,000. “Modern Polick.” If you’re going to ask that kind of green, wouldn’t you at least try to get the name of the artist you’re knocking off (badly) spelled correctly?

$10,000. this is a jacket inspired by “The Lost Boys.” For that price, it should come with one.

$249,999. Maybe the most self-aware piece of furniture on Etsy. By BartekMetalStudios

$14,500. No, I don’t need a pregnant torso sculpture, but isn’t this stunning? By SamTheMojoMan

$259,000+. Entitled “fantasy.” I assume that refers to the price.

$250,000. This is a moveable, convertible bar that reacts to touch. I can’t imagine who needs to spend that much on a bar, but it’s nonetheless seriously cool. If you buy it, please invite me over for a drink! By alexsandulescu21

$19,500. This is what a solid gold iPhone case looks like. I expected more bling and less blah.

$248,000. My guess is that Fabergé was having an off day when he made this turkey.

$20,000. If it’s a 22-foot-tall robot sculpture you’re after, I guess $20K isn’t such an outrageous price. And it ships from Thailand for just $0.10! That’s certainly a bargain!

$261,000. This sculpture has something that giant robot lacks: these.

$250,000. Proof that Nicholas Cage is a vampire.

$225,000. Don’t ask me. I just don’t know.

$250,000. Fruit and veg, the love that dare not speak its name.

$150,000. If I had $150K to spend on mermaid stuff, I would not waste it on this junk. Instead, it would go toward mermaid tail transplant surgery. And maybe gills.

$149,000. 1000-piece lot of bridal dresses. If this is the best of them, I think I’ll pass.

$100,000. This is a painting of a mountain. Or is it…

$250,000. The materials listed are foil, aluminum, usa, tape, glue, and scotch. Not scotch tape. Scotch. That makes perfect sense.

$127,000. Solid gold/diamond liquor jigger. Not even the Kardashians would make drinks with this thing.

$100,000. Embellished bra hat. Oh, yes. Very Etsy.

$100,000. Not for sale.

$99,999. “Weaved deer antlers.” Because that is definitely a thing.
August 11, 2016 at 7:43 am
I appreciate, that you tagged this post with humor. Who would use this kind of money at such crap? Crazy world 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 8:40 am
Hopefully, no one actually buys these things. I don’t mind paying for quality, but I’ll fight a retailer to the death rather than overpaying!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 7:58 am
Huh. Uh…
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 8:44 am
Indeed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 9:33 am
Goddammit! I want that Batmobile!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 10:38 am
Pretty awesome, isn’t it?
LikeLike
August 11, 2016 at 9:57 am
I wish I were really, really rich so I could refuse to buy ridiculous things on principle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 10:39 am
August 11, 2016 at 1:23 pm
Thank you for Liking my post (https://isabellaswhimsy.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/books-travels-and-row-by-row-experience/ ) because that is how I found you – a Most Beautiful Thing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 2:37 pm
That’s very sweet! Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 3:03 pm
Some of these items I just would not know how to begin to value in order to then judge whether the price tag was warranted or not but I can tell you that there are items in this post I would not give house space to – nor even shed space – even if the seller offered them to me for free. I agonise over coming up with reasonable prices for my art work but it seems like many people just close their eyes and click away on a calculator to arrive at theirs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 4:47 pm
When I attempted my OOAK jewelry business in the mid-eighties, I, too, agonized over prices. I was really hesitant to charge for my time, and had to keep telling myself that I was worth it. Not a recipe for success, as you can imagine. I got a fair amount of criticism growing up, and I think it led to me being overly critical of myself.
On the other hand, I think these prices are the result of the makers’ parents telling them that everything they did was exceptional. Just because you made something, even if you made it well, doesn’t mean it’s automatically worth $250K. EVERYBODY DOES NOT GET A TROPHY. End of rant.
LikeLiked by 2 people
August 11, 2016 at 4:59 pm
Oh I am so with you on the “everyone’s a winner” thing. I prefer to tell my kids that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and nobody is good at everything. Hopefully that will stop them from growing up and trying to hawk coloured belly button fluff for $600.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 6:34 pm
After today’s parade of awfuls, $600 belly button fluff doesn’t sound so bad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 6:16 pm
Reblogged this on mgthumbprints and commented:
I enjoyed this post so much I just had to share it with you! Enjoy! I’ll be back with an original post tomorrow. But this is awesome….you should follow her, too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 6:35 pm
How kind! Thank you!
LikeLike
August 11, 2016 at 6:41 pm
I always look forward to your posts! Etsomnia is always an eye opener!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 7:19 pm
Thank you. That’s really nice to hear. You’re very brave not to read it peeping out from closed fingers!
LikeLike
August 11, 2016 at 7:04 pm
I started laughing so much at the “Polick” that I couldn’t concentrate on the rest of this crap (who *are* this “artists”????).
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 11, 2016 at 7:23 pm
They are (for the most part) deranged, delusional people who deserve a good slap. That said, some of that stuff was beautiful (if terribly priced).
LikeLike
August 21, 2016 at 8:24 pm
There is a Batmobile?! I must say, I’m pleased to announce that I don’t have enough money to buy any of these items. However, that cute little baby is priceless. I could use a grand-daughter ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person