My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 102: Deep Pockets

21 Comments

$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.

$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

As you know, Etsy sells all kinds of stuff, and the prices go from a few cents on up to more than a half a million dollars. Sure, some of the higher-end items are totally worth the price tag; for example, “real estates,” cars, boats, airports, and other specialty items that are difficult to purchase elsewhere. But I suspect the sellers of some of the highest-priced items are either jokingunder the influence of “Lots of Wine,” profoundly delusional, confused about the exchange rate, or just really sloppy typists. If you have a few (hundred) thousands burning a hole in your pocket, Etsy will take care of that with a wide selection of political art ($250K), smells ($100K)a “beach friend” ($250K)” the mother of all engagement rings ($99,999.99)a middle school girl’s collage ($250K), all the Beanie Babies ($250K)a souvenir belt ($249K), the world’s most expensive penny ($237K), Lady Gaga’s ugliest shoes ($250K), imaginary vintage sushi ($100K), or a  rap beat ($250K).

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Like everything else they make, this conference table by VintageIndustrial makes me go all tingly!

$21,000+. Like everything else they make, this conference table by VintageIndustrial makes me go all tingly! (Then the price makes me pass right out.) I really need to find a bucket of money.

$250,000. "Modern Polick." For that kind of money, I would at least expect the artist to be able to spell Pollock.

$250,000. “Modern Polick.” If you’re going to ask that kind of green, wouldn’t you at least try to get the name of the artist you’re knocking off (badly) spelled correctly?

 

$10,000. this is a jacket inspired by "The Lost Boys." For that price, it should come with one.

$10,000. this is a jacket inspired by “The Lost Boys.” For that price, it should come with one.

$249,999. Maybe the most self-aware piece of furniture on Etsy.

$249,999. Maybe the most self-aware piece of furniture on Etsy. By BartekMetalStudios

$14,500. No, I don't need a pregnant torso hanging around my house, but isn't this stunning? By SamTheMojoMan

$14,500. No, I don’t need a pregnant torso sculpture, but isn’t this stunning? By SamTheMojoMan

$259,000+. Entitled "fantasy." I assume that refers to the price.

$259,000+. Entitled “fantasy.” I assume that refers to the price.

$250,000. This is a moveable, convertible bar that reacts to touch. I can't imagine who needs to spend that much on a bar, but it's nonetheless seriously cool. I don't want to buy it, but I do want a drink from it. By alexsandulescu21

$250,000. This is a moveable, convertible bar that reacts to touch. I can’t imagine who needs to spend that much on a bar, but it’s nonetheless seriously cool. If you buy it, please invite me over for a drink! By alexsandulescu21

$19,500. This is what a solid gold iPhone case looks like. Meh.

$19,500. This is what a solid gold iPhone case looks like. I expected more bling and less blah.

$248,000. My guess is that Fabergé was having an off day when he made this turkey.

$248,000. My guess is that Fabergé was having an off day when he made this turkey.

$20,000. If you find yourself in need of a 22-foot-tall robot sculpture, I guess $20K isn't such an outrageous price. And it ships from Thailand for just $0.10!

$20,000. If it’s a 22-foot-tall robot sculpture you’re after, I guess $20K isn’t such an outrageous price. And it ships from Thailand for just $0.10! That’s certainly a bargain!

$261,000. Do you know what that robot doesn't have? This.

$261,000. This sculpture has something that giant robot lacks: these.

$250,000. Proof that Nicholas Cage is a vampire. Or something.

$250,000. Proof that Nicholas Cage is a vampire.

$225,000. Don't ask me. I just don't know.

$225,000. Don’t ask me. I just don’t know.

$250,000. Fruit and veg, the love that dare not speak its name.

$250,000. Fruit and veg, the love that dare not speak its name.

$150,000. If I were to spend $150K on a mermaid-related item, it would be to have a fishtail transplant and maybe some gills. Not for this sad thing.

$150,000. If I had $150K to spend on mermaid stuff, I would not waste it on this junk. Instead, it would go toward mermaid tail transplant surgery. And maybe gills.

$149,000. 1000-piece lot of bridal dresses. If this is the best of them, I think I'll pass.

$149,000. 1000-piece lot of bridal dresses. If this is the best of them, I think I’ll pass.

$100,000. This is supposed to be a mountain, but all I can see is this.

$100,000. This is a painting of a mountain. Or is it…

$250,000. The materials listed are foil, aluminum, usa, tape, glue, and scotch. Not scotch tape. Scotch. That makes perfect sense.

$250,000. The materials listed are foil, aluminum, usa, tape, glue, and scotch. Not scotch tape. Scotch. That makes perfect sense.

$127,000. Solid gold/diamond liquor jigger. Seems legit.

$127,000. Solid gold/diamond liquor jigger. Not even the Kardashians would make drinks with this thing.

$100,000. Embellished bra hat. Yep. Etsy does it again.

$100,000. Embellished bra hat. Oh, yes. Very Etsy.

$100,000. Not for sale.

$100,000. Not for sale.

$99,999. "Weaved deer antlers." Alright, sir.

$99,999. “Weaved deer antlers.” Because that is definitely a thing.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

21 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 102: Deep Pockets

  1. I appreciate, that you tagged this post with humor. Who would use this kind of money at such crap? Crazy world 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Huh. Uh…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Goddammit! I want that Batmobile!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish I were really, really rich so I could refuse to buy ridiculous things on principle.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for Liking my post (https://isabellaswhimsy.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/books-travels-and-row-by-row-experience/ ) because that is how I found you – a Most Beautiful Thing!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Some of these items I just would not know how to begin to value in order to then judge whether the price tag was warranted or not but I can tell you that there are items in this post I would not give house space to – nor even shed space – even if the seller offered them to me for free. I agonise over coming up with reasonable prices for my art work but it seems like many people just close their eyes and click away on a calculator to arrive at theirs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When I attempted my OOAK jewelry business in the mid-eighties, I, too, agonized over prices. I was really hesitant to charge for my time, and had to keep telling myself that I was worth it. Not a recipe for success, as you can imagine. I got a fair amount of criticism growing up, and I think it led to me being overly critical of myself.

      On the other hand, I think these prices are the result of the makers’ parents telling them that everything they did was exceptional. Just because you made something, even if you made it well, doesn’t mean it’s automatically worth $250K. EVERYBODY DOES NOT GET A TROPHY. End of rant.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Reblogged this on mgthumbprints and commented:
    I enjoyed this post so much I just had to share it with you! Enjoy! I’ll be back with an original post tomorrow. But this is awesome….you should follow her, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I always look forward to your posts! Etsomnia is always an eye opener!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I started laughing so much at the “Polick” that I couldn’t concentrate on the rest of this crap (who *are* this “artists”????).

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There is a Batmobile?! I must say, I’m pleased to announce that I don’t have enough money to buy any of these items. However, that cute little baby is priceless. I could use a grand-daughter ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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