Etsomnia™ 104: Sheer Madness

August 25, 2016 by Donna from One Beautiful Thing 20 Comments

These super-stylish pants are made of 100% nope.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I love sheer clothing. I don’t mean like Rihanna sheer, but with the right base layer under it, sheer can be really tasteful and flattering, and garments that include sheer elements are some of my favorite things. But like nudity, sheer also comes in both the good and the bad varieties. There are some outfits that should only be attempted by professionals, and some that shouldn’t be attempted by anyone. Running the usual range from “want it” to “can’t unsee it” (you were warned), Etsy’s sheer merchandise certainly delivered the goods!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Absolutely gorgeous! (Of course, at least part of the appeal is that it's 1,000,000 degrees outside and that looks cool and lovely.) By Xiaolizi

Absolutely gorgeous! (Of course, at least part of the appeal is that it’s 1,000,000 degrees outside and that looks cool and comfortable.) By Xiaolizi

Anyone else have a sudden hankering to re-watch Borat?

Anyone else have a sudden hankering to re-watch this?

WT actual F is going on here?

This thing is only semi-sheer, which is a tragedy, BECAUSE I CAN STILL SEE IT.

Though I'm not a fan of yellow, this is a real looker! By shopBTMV

Though I’m not usually a fan of yellow, this is a real looker! By shopBTMV

Sometimes, "Boho" is NOT an excuse to look like what my mother would have called a hobo. This is stunning. By SaldanaVintage

On Etsy, words like “boho,” “gypsy,” and “hippie” are usually a clue that disaster approaches. Not this time! By SaldanaVintage

If your friend makes you wear a tablecloth at her wedding, you need better friends. And that goes double for this one.

Avant garde has lost me again.

This is a sheer bathing suit. That seems practical.

Perfect for a costume (if you're dressed as an ugly sixties sofa).

Perfect for a costume if you’re going as this lady.

If you must stand on a roof in heels, do it in these gorgeous pants (and your best bra, of course). By dottiesdelights

She's very brave and calm. If I found myself in that outfit, I'd be screaming and clawing at myself trying to get away.

She seems resigned to her fate. If I found myself in that outfit, I’d be screaming and clawing at myself trying to get away.

Gents, unless you’re shaped like a mannequin, you might want to skip the sheer shirts. They just remind me of the International Male catalog I used to get in the ’80s which never failed to crack me up.

I can’t pull off the crop top thing, but this sure makes me wish I could! By TheBohemianDream

How do you think my Spanx will look under this? By CouturePoetry

Sheer vintage kimono? Yes, please! By WeWereLovers

At least they’ve got each other.

When I was shopping for my wedding, I looked everywhere for something just like these beauties and was unsuccessful. These are gorgeous!

Years ago, shopping for my wedding, I looked everywhere for something just like these beauties and was unsuccessful. These are gorgeous! By AngelaFriedman

When I was a little girl, I would pull my half slip up to my armpits and pretend it was a strapless gown. Not something I ever thought an adult would attempt.

When I was a little girl, I would pull my half slip up to my armpits and pretend it was a strapless gown (and I was a princess). The effect is less regal than I imagined.

Do not attempt. Professional beautiful person on closed course.

The law should be that only Olympic swimmers are permitted to wear this without a license.

If these babies came in my size, they'd be mine, all mine! By MountainValleyVint

If these babies came in my size, they’d be mine, all mine! I never really did get over my 1980’s love of palazzo pants. By MountainValleyVint

I find this beautiful, but I try not to avoid wearing clothing that requires a specific, um, haircut to work.

I think this is really beautiful, but it’s definitely not for me. When dressing for work, I try to avoid wearing clothing that requires a trim, if you catch my meaning.