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Etsomnia™ 105: Bad Hair Day

by 11 Comments

That ought to keep the perverts away!

I can’t decide. Do you think wearing this barrette would discourage subway frottage, or attract it?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I have a wedding to go to – yes, another one – and my hair just now is at a particularly awkward in-between length. I have decided to wear it up, but I need some kind of adornment. Etsy to the rescue! I did find what I wanted, but on my way to The Right Things, I came across a large number of Wrong Things which inspired this week’s uncomfortable exploration of the bowels of Etsy.

As with all other categories of Etsy merch, hair accessories are a veritable treasure trove of the weird, wacky, wonderful, and what were they thinking. I really enjoyed this week’s search, but there’s such a wide variety of terrible things, it really makes me wonder. Who is buying this stuff? From the underwhelming to the overwhelming to the just enough, Etsy’s got it all!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

This set of headbands (for $25!) is so classically beautiful, they make me wish I were a goddess! By AnnabellandLouise

These headbands (3 for $25!) are so classically beautiful, they make me wish I were a goddess! By AnnabellandLouise

hair 1

Shredded carrots – not just for your salad anymore!

Well, I'll say this. The hair and the accessory are a good match.

Well, I’ll say this. The hair and the accessory are a good match.

I actually know people who would wear this. Non-ironically.

I would buy this just so I could enjoy the look on the faces of the pajama-clad adults in the supermarket when I use it to strangle them… Okay, not really, but a girl can dream!

I cannot get enough of Art Deco hair decorations! By AmoreTreasure

I cannot get enough of Art Deco hair decorations! By AmoreTreasure

The perfect barrette choice if you're trying to attract diabetics.

The perfect barrette choice if you’re trying to attract diabetics.

Not at all what I expected when i clicked on "roach clip."

Not at all what I expected when i clicked on “roach clip.”

I have a pair of hair pins very like these, and they're absolutely lovely! By mylavaliere

I have a pair of hair pins very like these, and they always get me compliments! By mylavaliere

I have no idea what the point is, but there are hundreds of these things on Etsy. Why?

There are a lot of these things on Etsy. Why? Is your hair cold? Does it need to be punished? Are you feeling particularly Bavarian? Or did you just need someplace to store this?

I assume the poor thing died of embarrassment.

Have you always wanted to glare at people standing behind you? You're in luck!

Always wanted to glare at people standing behind you? Me, too!

Somebody get me the bug spray.

Somebody get me the bug spray.

I keep saying I'm not into green, but I am starting to think Etsy is changing that. Gorgeous! By beadmask

I keep saying I’m not into green, but I am starting to think Etsy is changing that. Gorgeous! By beadmask

This poor dog looks like he's contemplating where his life took a turn.

This poor dog looks like he’s contemplating where he went wrong.

I'll bet the dog would be much happier with this one.

I’ll bet the dog would be much happier with this one.

Here's a tip: Do not wear this to court unless you're trying to get out of jury duty.

Here’s a tip: Do not wear this to court unless you’re trying to get out of jury duty.

I have never mastered the art of hair sticks, but these might inspire me to try again. By DeaDiaJewelry

I have never mastered the art of hair sticks, but these might inspire me to try again. By DeaDiaJewelry

This is your big chance! Today, I'm incorporating a new Etsomnia feature; the reader caption contest! Write your captions in the comments.

This is your big chance! Today, we’re introducing a new Etsomnia™ feature; the reader caption contest! Write your captions in the comments.

I will say this much. Unlike most of the other items in this post, at least the inspiration for these barrettes is clear.

I will say this much. Unlike most of the other items in this post, at least the inspiration for these barrettes is clear.

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Author: Donna from One Beautiful Thing

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

11 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 105: Bad Hair Day”

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  1. dawn's avatar
    dawnmarie
    September 1, 2016 at 7:27 am

    The pill barrettes…not sure this is proper storage? Clean dry place, not too warm, low humidity…hmmmm. I am thinking if them are real, they ain’t gonna last long even if they are sprayed with something to protect them. I am picturing pill goo on the head when it rains, a following of old folk behind ya ( like cats)…and maybe a raging case of some itis for the creator because she made barrettes from her pills rather than taking them?

    So much to say about this post…but it is too early and it is hard to be nice before a full cup of coffee.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Ellie's avatar
    Ellie
    September 1, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Delving into hair accessories on Etsy – takes some courage, but we appreciate your sacrifice!

    As to the last picture: “Priscilla’s muppet ancestry was never in doubt.”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  3. Laura (PA Pict)'s avatar
    Laura (PA Pict)
    September 1, 2016 at 11:54 am

    I thought I had seen some awful hair accessories at weddings and christenings but Etsy reliably has ridiculous things I could never have dreamed of. Or nightmared of.

    Caption: “The trouble with tribbles is they hump your head”.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. Cindy Mallalieu's avatar
    Cindy Mallalieu
    September 1, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    I actually like the Roach Clip, though I’m not sure to what function I would wear it!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. artfulblasphemer's avatar
    artfulblasphemer
    September 3, 2016 at 10:24 am

    I think the Bavarian looking one is actually a way to stow your drink coozie when it’s time to make another beer run….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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