My OBT

My daily quest for One Beautiful Thing (OBT)

Etsomnia™ 112: Lunatic Fringe

11 Comments

This poor soul can't even figure out how to work fringe. On the other hand, he also couldn't remember pants, so maybe he's just not that bright.

This poor soul can’t even figure out how to work his stupid shirt. On the other hand, he also couldn’t remember pants, so maybe there’s a pattern emerging.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Lately, I’ve been joyously trolling the stores for new Fall statement pieces (for some reason, I’m really digging most of this season’s trends), and I’ve noticed an astonishing, nay, an astounding quantity of fringe popping up everywhere. Are we really going to do this again? Haven’t we learned our lesson? Wasn’t the last time traumatic enough? Okay, yes, a few people managed to pull it off, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Ready or not, though, here it comes!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Well, now that song's stuck in my head.

Well, now that song’s stuck in my head.

Don't you hate it when you look down and realize you've missed shaving the same spot on your ankle for a month?

Don’t you hate it when you look down and realize you’ve missed shaving the same spot on your ankle for at least a month?

Oooh, pretty! By SouthernTradeMark

I’m not usually a pink person, but ooh, pretty! By
SouthernTradeMark

Ho boy.

You put your mullet in, you take your mullet out, you put your mullet in, and you shake it all about . . .

Ugly? Sure, but it still beats a comb-over.

Ugly? Sure, but it still beats a comb-over.

I can see how this would be effective while in motion as a ballroom dancing costume, but standing still, she looks like a Muppet.

I can see how this would be effective while in motion as a ballroom dancing costume, but standing still, she looks like a Muppet.

Absolutely delicious! By shevamps

I love it when Boho is done right! By shevamps

It is a strict policy of mine to avoid all garments that make it look like I have chest hair. Or shoulder hair, for that matter.

This looks like it reeks of cigarettes, desperation, and cat piss. And that’s the nicest thing I can say about it.

"911, what's your emergency?" "This scarf."

“911, what’s your emergency?”
“This scarf.”

I blame the hemp, if you know what I mean.

These skirts are great if you're not over the moon about the shape of your legs. By HouseOfLVA

These skirts are great if you’re a bit shy about showing your legs. By HouseOfLVA

She needed to find a restaurant, and fast. Her neck paramecium was getting hangry. And she didn't like him when he was hangry.

Bernice panicked. She needed to find some food fast. Her neck paramecium was getting hangry. And she didn’t like him when he was hangry.

Good news! This thing comes in plus sizes up to 7X!

Good news! Thisbelt thing comes in sizes from XXS to 7X, so now everyone can look like shit!

something about not even the wolves wanted him.

Screaming baby with hives in three . . . two . . .

Q. What do you get when you combine ugly boots, belts, beads, and bandanas?
A. Who cares?

 

I'm sorry, but I couldn't be the only one to suffer.

I’m sorry to have to show you this, but I couldn’t be the only one to suffer.

These are denim leg warmers. More like soul chillers.

These are denim leg warmers. From a fashion standpoint, they may be the ugliest garments I’ve ever come across on Etsy. Oh, and there’s more of them, too.

I dont think I could pull it off, but I really like it! By PlexisArt

I don’t think I could pull it off, but I really like it! By PlexisArt

She didn't know what all the fuss was about. Sure, her Japanese man-o-war necklaces could kill you. But look how pretty!

She didn’t know what all the fuss was about. Sure, her Portugese man o’war necklaces were deadly. But you were supposed to suffer for fashion, weren’t you?

He's looking pretty confident for a guy in crocheted shorts.

He’s looking pretty confident for a scrawny white guy in crocheted shorts.

This seller offers to “upcycle” your old furs.

There's good fringe and bad fringe. This... is good fringe! By HarperLange

There’s good fringe and bad fringe. This… is very good fringe! By HarperLange

Pompom-palooza

If pompom fringe is in, count me out.

Reader caption time!

Reader caption time! 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

11 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 112: Lunatic Fringe

  1. I have no words its ​all just so awful…….hahaha why?!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Alice couldn’t control her Hannibal Lector dreams.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m actually struggling to comment on this week’s Etsomnia. Where does one even start with these offerings? It’s like swimming through gaudy manure. I will say that the worst item has to be the fringed codpiece. How could it not be?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your comments had me ROTFL. But I actually like a lot of these. Child of the 60s.

    Liked by 1 person

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s