This poor soul can’t even figure out how to work his stupid shirt. On the other hand, he also couldn’t remember pants, so maybe there’s a pattern emerging.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Lately, I’ve been joyously trolling the stores for new Fall statement pieces (for some reason, I’m really digging most of this season’s trends), and I’ve noticed an astonishing, nay, an astounding quantity of fringe popping up everywhere. Are we really going to do this again? Haven’t we learned our lesson? Wasn’t the last time traumatic enough? Okay, yes, a few people managed to pull it off, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Ready or not, though, here it comes!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
Well, now that song’s stuck in my head.
Don’t you hate it when you look down and realize you’ve missed shaving the same spot on your ankle for at least a month?
I’m not usually a pink person, but ooh, pretty! By
SouthernTradeMark
You put your mullet in, you take your mullet out, you put your mullet in, and you shake it all about . . .
Ugly? Sure, but it still beats a comb-over.
I can see how this would be effective while in motion as a ballroom dancing costume, but standing still, she looks like a Muppet.
I love it when Boho is done right! By shevamps
It is a strict policy of mine to avoid all garments that make it look like I have chest hair. Or shoulder hair, for that matter.
This looks like it reeks of cigarettes, desperation, and cat piss. And that’s the nicest thing I can say about it.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“This scarf.”
I blame the hemp, if you know what I mean.
These skirts are great if you’re a bit shy about showing your legs. By HouseOfLVA
Bernice panicked. She needed to find some food fast. Her neck paramecium was getting hangry. And she didn’t like him when he was hangry.
Good news! Thisbelt thing comes in sizes from XXS to 7X, so now everyone can look like shit!
Screaming baby with hives in three . . . two . . .
Q. What do you get when you combine ugly boots, belts, beads, and bandanas?
A. Who cares?
I’m sorry to have to show you this, but I couldn’t be the only one to suffer.
These are denim leg warmers. From a fashion standpoint, they may be the ugliest garments I’ve ever come across on Etsy. Oh, and there’s more of them, too.
I don’t think I could pull it off, but I really like it! By PlexisArt
She didn’t know what all the fuss was about. Sure, her Portugese man o’war necklaces were deadly. But you were supposed to suffer for fashion, weren’t you?
He’s looking pretty confident for a scrawny white guy in crocheted shorts.
This seller offers to “upcycle” your old furs.
There’s good fringe and bad fringe. This… is very good fringe! By HarperLange
If pompom fringe is in, count me out.
Reader caption time!
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My OBT 
October 20, 2016 at 6:48 am
I have no words its all just so awful…….hahaha why?!!!!
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October 20, 2016 at 7:18 am
Sometimes, I think that the terrible stuff on Etsy is just a giant social experiment. Like someone is just testing us to see if anyone actually buys the stuff.
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October 20, 2016 at 7:33 am
yes but it almost hurts to look at ahhahaa!
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October 20, 2016 at 6:56 am
“Alice couldn’t control her Hannibal Lector dreams.”
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October 20, 2016 at 7:19 am
Very good!
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October 20, 2016 at 7:17 pm
I’m actually struggling to comment on this week’s Etsomnia. Where does one even start with these offerings? It’s like swimming through gaudy manure. I will say that the worst item has to be the fringed codpiece. How could it not be?
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October 20, 2016 at 7:18 pm
My caption attempt: Steampunk Gollum.
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October 20, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Yasss!
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October 20, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Ladies and gentlemen…men…men…. Put your hands together…gether…gether… For Gaudy Manure!!!!!!!! (Crowd goes wild)
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October 21, 2016 at 11:10 am
Your comments had me ROTFL. But I actually like a lot of these. Child of the 60s.
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October 21, 2016 at 11:48 am
Fair enough!
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