Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Happy Movember! In the unlikely event that you’re not familiar with the annual event, here’s a quick summary:

“Started in 2003, Movember is an annual, global, month-long celebration of the mustache that highlights men’s health issues–specifically prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and male depression. During the month of November, men grow a mustache and raise funds for charities like the Prostate Cancer Foundation and the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LIVESTRONG).” –Art of Manliness

If you want to participate, go check out the official Movember website.

I thought the best way to acknowledge Movember this year was to take a look at Etsy items featuring mustaches. I was frankly a little disappointed that there weren’t more terrible mustache items, but I confess I really did like most of what I found. Even some of the weird ones were kind of fantastic. Well, some of them, anyway. As usual, there’s some stuff that can’t be unseen. (Sorry.)

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!