My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 127: Not Strictly Ballroom

12 Comments

ball-1

Me, Tarzan. You, Snooki.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Ballroom dancing costumes are not really a category about which I would have expected to write an edition of Etsomnia™, but when I came across some of these getups AND SAW THEIR PRICES, I couldn’t resist.

I understand that performance wear tends to be over-the-top, but I always associated ballroom dancing with glorious, flowy outfits. When did so many of them turn into studies in terrible taste? Oh, right. In the eighties, like everything else. Unfortunately, they never moved on.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Terrible? Sure. But at least it matches the living room!

Terrible? Sure. But at least it matches the fugly living room!

Is it lumpy? Sure it is. But look! Sparkles!

From the beloved children’s book “The Slovenly Mermaid”

Now, THAT's a ballroom gown! (With a no doubt justified terrifying price.) By SheriLoraine

Now, THAT’s a ballroom gown! (With a no doubt justified but terrifying price.) By SheriLoraine

Were it not $900, I’d buy this one to wear in the drag invasion, just to see how long it would take the crowd to turn on me.

Were it not $900, I’d buy this one to wear in the drag invasion, just to see how long it would take the crowd to turn on me.

Yipe.

I used to love blue. Used to.

Materials: chiffon, spandex, sadness

This looks like it was made by a seeing-eye dog.

Worried that your drastically asymmetrical breasts will cost you points on the dance floor? Why not turn them into a feature?

Worried that your drastically asymmetrical breasts will cost you points on the dance floor? Why not turn them into a feature?

Ballroom gowns, now with more Muppets!

Looks like something Zsa Zsa Gabor coughed up!

Who does depression hurt?

Who does depression hurt?

I am a complete sucker for rainbow, and fringe really sends me. By EstaDiva

I am a sucker for rainbow things, and fringe makes me feel all swishy (in a good way). My dream dress! By EstaDiva

I get the flamenco silhouette, but the purple polka dots are just tragic.

Perfect for your next flamenco barn dance.

Gown by Jim Henson.

While it's not my color, I can totally imagine this 1960's ballroom gown being gorgeous on stage. By TheIDconnection

While it’s not my color, I’ll bet this vintage ballroom gown was gorgeous on stage (in the sixties). By TheIDconnection

This thing is so bright, it looks like you could use it to charge your phone.

This thing is so bright, it looks like it would charge your phone.

It turns out that tablecloths and bedskirts look as bad on people as they do on tables and beds!

It turns out that tablecloths and bedskirts look as bad on people as they do on tables and beds!

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

12 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 127: Not Strictly Ballroom

  1. Another outstanding post. I love all of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol! STAHP! 😅😅😅 laffing @ ‘slovenly mermaid’…I’d read that! So funny….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think Dusty Springfield wore that green number on stage once!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The prizes for ballroom competitions must be amazing to justify the prices on some of those. Nothing justifies the taste level of most of them. (I admit, though, that if I had a couple extra thousand doing nothing, I’d be tempted to swath myself in chiffon.)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The Slovenly Mermaid! That had me snorting with laughter. This was the Frocky Horror Picture Show for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Party dress – saye monibah

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