This Victorian adult diaper-looking thing looks like it belongs in one of those commercials where white women complain their whites aren’t white enough.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
If you know me at all, you know how hypnotized I am by costumes. My posse and I never miss an opportunity to dress up, so this week’s feature about Dark Art Mystery put me in the mood for this week’s Etsomnia™ theme. Those beautiful gowns put me in the mood for fancy dress in general, and period costumes in particular. Unfortunately, not everyone on Etsy is so talented…
Etsy has a thriving LARP (live action role-playing) community who is (who are? Why doesn’t that look right?) really big on clothing inspired by vintage styles, especially Elizabethan and Medieval reenactment clothing. And yes, this universe includes the dreaded (but sometimes fantastic) Steampunk. Sure, some of them are way out of my budget, but a girl can dream! I had a blast researching this one, and it’s only the fact that we’re living in 305 square feet that saved me from buying many, many wonderful things. Enjoy!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
The skirt’s inoffensive, but the top looks like it’s covered in orange spiders. Nope.
“Victorian” tailcoat so tragic, not even Helen Keller could have been tricked into wearing it.
This customizable plaid pirate steampunk outfit is totally badass! By Scalarags
Men’s Renaissance trousers. Because ‘Merica.
This is not fat shaming. I promise. I’m kind of this shape these days, but honey, lay off the ruffles and bustle.
Many people worry about the machines rising up. Me? I worry about the doilies.
“Elizabethan recycled gown.” It’s a good thing Queen Lizzy is dead, because this would have done her in for sure.
On occasion, I have been accused of over-researching my costumes. I’m guessing this maker has not.
“Napoleonic tunic” with an identity crisis: it thinks it’s “luxe” period clothing, but in reality, it’s garbage.
Swoon! Gorgeous and so affordable! By MajesticVelvets
Ren Faire reject…
Q: What’s that on your skirt?
A: Cow tongues.
The materials listed are fabric and “crazy creativity.” Well, the crazy certainly comes through…
While clearly well made, this Medieval cod piece seems a bit on the optimistic side.
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My OBT 
February 1, 2018 at 9:29 am
Oh my..I do like the pirate outfit and the crazy is crazy but the color is beautiful
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February 1, 2018 at 11:50 am
I can’t remember the name of the play. It was set in the civil war era. The slave was lacing up the Owner’s corset. And this day her husband was coming home from the war. The slave put everything she could into lacing it up as tight as possible. So much so the lady would barely more when her husband came in the door. He admired how slim her waist was and said he was happy to see it that thin. While he was home the lacing got tighter. Now it was done in a comic sense. But those picture did bring back some very happy memories. Hal
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February 1, 2018 at 6:10 pm
The scene sounds Gone With the Windish, though the plot doesn’t. Sounds painful!
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February 1, 2018 at 12:34 pm
Never has so much material been put to such… varied and imaginative use! The orange spidery thing, I think Melania should wear – if she’s ever out in public next to the Cheeto again! 😉
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February 1, 2018 at 6:10 pm
I actually spit out my water when I read this!
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February 1, 2018 at 7:04 pm
Glad it was just water and not, say, expensive wine! 😀
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February 1, 2018 at 11:24 pm
Heaven forfend!
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February 1, 2018 at 12:48 pm
Once again a number of good chuckles from your witty observations. Thank you. And BTW we have the same taste.
Alison
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February 1, 2018 at 6:10 pm
Yay, us! Thanks very much, Alison!
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February 1, 2018 at 2:23 pm
Your introductory links included some splendid costumes and those Steampunk costumes are well done but the rest of it is so crappy that I can honestly say that – despite my utter lack of skill – I have cobbled together better fancy dress costumes. Well, the orange one is very well made, I just don’t like the colour and texture of the lacy bits. The costumery is the reason I have a kid (obviously the one who is a Steampunk and Anime fan) who spends free time perusing Etsy and why my Etsy account is full of favourited Steampunk items.
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February 1, 2018 at 6:11 pm
I know you’re not supposed to have favorites, but I love your steampunklet!
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February 1, 2018 at 7:19 pm
He’s definitely a character.
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February 1, 2018 at 11:24 pm
I wanna go shopping with that kid.
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February 1, 2018 at 5:37 pm
Cow tongues! I’m still laughing…(you are correct though!)
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February 1, 2018 at 6:12 pm
So terrible. What are they thinking?
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February 2, 2018 at 5:41 pm
There’s a lot of terrible here. Thanks for sharing!!! (And see you next week!)
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February 2, 2018 at 5:45 pm
Yes, you will see me next week! Yay!
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February 2, 2018 at 9:01 pm
These are totally suitable to go out to Fairway in:p Lol. ❤
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February 3, 2018 at 10:47 am
If you wear them to Fairway, just promise me you’ll having someone following you with a camera. I wand to see the reactions.
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February 2, 2018 at 10:23 pm
You always add such funny commentary! I almost sort of like the orange skirt, if it had a different top.
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February 3, 2018 at 11:57 am
Thank you! I agree about the orange, but that top is hideous.
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