
“Great surfer gift” from someone who clearly has some deep-seated issues with surfers…
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Summer in New York is both good and bad. There’s the endless search for the air conditioned subway cars, trying not to breathe in near ripe-smelling commuters, long lines at Emack & Bolio’s, flop-sweating on your way to work, then freezing once you get to the office. But there are great things about it, too. Sipping a perfectly chilled rosé while watching the world go by, the Mermaid Parade, street festivals every weekend, frolicking kids and dogs, overflowing green spaces (the UES has its upside), and surfing. You read right. Rockaway Beach, near our house, is pretty well known for its surfer community, so I thought it was time to do a surfing post. And I found a lot to love this week!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

These would be so successful on the Rockaway boardwalk! 4′ chalkboard surfboard signs by SurfboardBeachArt

Steps to Etsy success. 1. Make halfway decent ocean painting. 2. Ruin it by gluing on unnecessary stuff. 3. Success!

I have said before that one of the keys to yarn arts is knowing when to stop. This crocheter stopped too soon.

How fun is this? Cookie cutters that make cookie shapes that fit into each other like puzzle pieces! By KatoBakingSupplies

This is called a “floozie.” Named, I assume, after the women who are willing to carry them.

What do you have to be smoking for this to make sense?

I am OBSESSED with this table and stools by DimensionalStudios

Beloved used to fall asleep during one nature documentary and wake up during another. As a result, she sometimes got her facts tangled. I assume that’s what happened here.

Are we sure those are surfboards?

Well, that’s certainly true. By RealPeopleGoods

I used to put my daughter in this position when she had gas. Never on a surfboard, though.

Furnished surf shack doll house. Why can’t I live there? By MyDeliciousBliss

June 14, 2018 at 6:46 am
That floozie definitely looks like something you would find in one of those gift shops with a shark mouth entryway.
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June 14, 2018 at 7:13 am
Exactly! Tourist junk.
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June 14, 2018 at 12:08 pm
You summer up Summer in New York perfectly! ❤ ❤ ❤
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June 14, 2018 at 7:03 pm
Thank you!
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June 14, 2018 at 12:11 pm
The crochet “bikini” could be just as easily marketed as dental floss. That reminded me of the time, as a child, when my siblings and I witnessed a completely nude woman changing positions to ensure an even tan. My parents were very liberal and open-minded so were tolerant of the spectacle right up to the point where she decided to spreadeagle her legs to let the sun get to her pinkest parts. I considered deleting this anecdote but decided to leave it be. You’ll just have to forgive me.
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June 14, 2018 at 7:06 pm
Very vivid mental picture. My mother would have dragged us all to church, naked woman included. The beach we go to on Fire Island is clothing optional, though most people stay pretty much covered up. Our first season out there, we kept running into the perpetually-naked Annie Sprinkle (the porn star), and the joke was that she was forever dropping things. We spent more time trying NOT to look at her bent over picking up stuff than we did looking her (somewhat desperately) in the eye.
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June 14, 2018 at 8:08 pm
I’ve no problem with nudity, even if my kids are with me. It’s just the human body after all. A gynecological lesson via sunbathing is a tad much, however. It was a bit awkward.
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June 14, 2018 at 12:51 pm
Not much for the beach…… mountains please. But…You know some dingleling will be seen on the beach in that “suit”
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June 14, 2018 at 7:06 pm
Oh, don’t I know it!
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June 15, 2018 at 6:32 pm
I will obsess about that table and chairs with you. As usual, cool and funny items for etsomnia!
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June 15, 2018 at 7:16 pm
Isn’t that set gorgeous? Not typically my colors, but yum!
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June 16, 2018 at 5:36 pm
Carly Simon had a song called “Attitude Dancing.” Maybe that’s what that embroidery was refering to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcHTyILUimU
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June 16, 2018 at 11:43 pm
That would make more sense.
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June 17, 2018 at 12:50 pm
These items are alternatively cute ‘n’ hilarious! I’m stuck on that red blob on the top surfer plasticine (?) sculpture. What is it?!
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June 17, 2018 at 4:57 pm
I’m assuming it’s your standard product by Acme Corporation. https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQOVkY_L7-ALk_2KPgVLoZfTVjlf9KhrAPZ4mQAohpVV3VfPwc_
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June 17, 2018 at 7:57 pm
Oh! LOLOLOL! Ok thanks!
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