Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this punishment, but for the last two weeks, my social media ads have all been for floral crap. Don’t get me wrong: I love actual flowers, and a good retro floral print can be wonderful, but when it comes to prints, I am typically more of a graphic print or Art Deco style gal. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of floral clothing items I own, and three of them are costumes.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
If you had described these china-print-inspired tights, I would have imagined them as awful, but I find them surprisingly lovely! By TattooSocksUnless you’re a lounge singer in the Poconos in the 1970s, this is a definite no.When choosing felt jewelry, it’s important to make sure it’s the worse color possible. Oh, and your makeup should be done by a 6 year old.I don’t know why, but it’s always true that the worse the floral, the better the Hawaiian shirt. This one’s a beaut! By AvaloniaClothingI imagine she’s smiling because she’s imagining terrible things befalling the relative who gave her this dumb thing.Now this is MY kind of floral! Yum! By MartiniShoesBoutiqueAnother tragic case of no gay best friend.“Huge lot” of felted flowers. Because if there’s one thing that makes ugly better, it’s volume.I love floral ties for formal occasions. So festive! By JustBowtiesI don’t know about “punk as fuck,” but they’re certainly ugly as fuck.So attractive! By BikiniBooThis manages to be a failure as a pattern AND a failure as a bowtie.“Perfect summer wedding dress.” Alright, but the groom had better be wearing this.OMG, these are adorable, and they remind me of my childhood! By ShopFreakshowVintageThis made me upcycle a little in my mouth.While it’s true that if you have a figure like this one, you can wear anything, this print is a little too Georgia O’Keefe for me…
I love that sort of blue and white china, so the tights are definitely interesting.
I have a feeling if I tried to sell on Etsy my efforts would look something like the “huge lot” of felted flowers, lol.
My OBT 
May 28, 2020 at 6:23 am
I don’t know if I should tqke some of these serious or laugh at the humor. I would wear the jacket but not the shirt. Hal
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May 28, 2020 at 7:50 am
That jacket is a lot of look!
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May 28, 2020 at 6:53 am
I’ll be honest you wouldn’t see me dead (or alive) in any of those but I do enjoy your trawls through Etsy.
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May 28, 2020 at 7:50 am
Thank you! Me, too.
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May 28, 2020 at 7:08 am
But the daisy hat is cute…perfect for a school play or Halloween.
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May 28, 2020 at 7:50 am
That’s a good point!
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May 28, 2020 at 1:04 pm
I am rarely ever drawn to florals so not much in this selection has any natural appeal to me. I do, however, like those boots.
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May 28, 2020 at 10:05 pm
The boots made me go all wanty.
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May 29, 2020 at 9:43 am
I love that sort of blue and white china, so the tights are definitely interesting.
I have a feeling if I tried to sell on Etsy my efforts would look something like the “huge lot” of felted flowers, lol.
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May 29, 2020 at 9:58 pm
LOL. Same.
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July 12, 2020 at 11:09 am
Those boots are awesome.
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July 12, 2020 at 11:45 pm
They really are cute!
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