Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

The universe of gag gifts on Etsy is broad and somewhat varied. There are tens of thousands of poop-related items, age gags, and genital jokes, and the retirement and bachelorette gag gifts are thick on the ground. But it wasn’t all bad. I came across some wildly creative and entirely unexpected items, as well. But it was mostly bad.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!