Etsomnia™ Volume XVIII: Happy Holidays?

November 28, 2014 by Donna from MyOBT 7 Comments

If this doesn’t put you in the holiday spirit, you are clearly dead inside. Or have better taste.

et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

Happy Friday! Etsomnia may be a day late, but I think it was worth the wait.

Every year, Christmas gives me the warm-and-fuzzies, in spite of myself. Sure I’m still the same curmudgeonly ball of sarcasm that I am all the rest of the year, but there’s a teensy little pilot light of irrational good cheer burning at my core that no amount of Bah, Humbugging will extinguish. I love making our house all glowy and warm and Christmasy, and I adore walking around and appreciating other people’s decorations, too. Of course, I can’t help but make fun, but I am cheered by even the worst of them.

So it is with great joy that I present you with A Very Special Holiday Etsomnia, all about the gew gaws of the season and how they can go horribly, hilariously wrong.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

I could see putting up these shocked-looking choir boys, but only if I could pose them looking at something like this.

Thoroughly terrifying (and familiar-looking) lawn Santa.

I definitely didn't see this one coming. By BethAndBeverly, who I fervently hope are not a couple

I definitely didn’t see this one coming. Chickens threaten their chicks with this maker when they misbehave.

Horrendous/awesome Christmas sweater by TipitDesigns

More atrocious lawn "decor." By LazyHoundWorkshop

And the Dog People are marking their territory, too.

The Cat People definitely enjoy getting their holiday on. By, and I am not making this up, ILikeCatsShop

Ugly Christmas jewelry maniacally assembled by BaublesBeadsNCharms

Ungainly Christmas jewelry assembled by a seller who offers a profusion of unfortunate holiday-themed jewelry

And the Cat People are at it again. Weird riverdancing cat ornament.

This hot mess is called “Christmas Angel.”

And speaking of felted holiday horrors, here’s a snowman ornament, allegedly.

Oh, look! A literal sad sack.

And then there's this thing made from someone's grandmother's bedspread. From the eternally-optimistic AmazingStockings

And then there’s this thing that looks like it smells like mothballs and DentureGrip.

Boy, those cat people really get into the holiday spirit. We did something like this to our dear departed Henry, and he never forgave us. Those pictures still makes me laugh.

Okay, she’s very cute, but you know that hat’s going into her mouth in about two seconds, and that glitter does NOT look edible.

Would anyone care to hazard a guess as to why this very festive bottle opener appears in Etsy's Holiday Decor section? On page 1, no less? By BigBangEarringCo, who deserve a good smack

This really depressed me. When you go to Etsy’s Holiday Decor section, page 1 includes this very classy holiday item. By a seller who seems to have utterly missed the point.