What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XXXVI: Picture This


Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

When I was reasearching my Etsomnia art post in November 2014, I came across a fair number of nutty and bewildering photos. Those photos stayed in my head, and I think it’s time to share them. (Lucky you!) As with the art post, I’m going to include one example from each of Etsy’s categories. The categories are: Animals, Black & White, Color, Fashion, Figure, Food, Landscape & Architecture, Monochromatic, Nature, Portrait, Still Life, Vintage, and the intriguingly-titled More.

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only.  Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. And don’t forget to click the other links for visual aids. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Category: Animals. Sold by AnimalFolk. Not really sure why this Photoshop job was in photographs, but it is at least entertaining.

Category: Animals. Fancy pants sloth is freaking me out. What do you think this seller’s nightmares look like?

Category: Disgusting Figural. Sold by LeftCoastEditions. Open mouth . . . Maybe this video will make it better. Nope, still gross.

Category: Disgusting Figural. Open mouth . . . Maybe this video will make it better. Nope, still gross.

Category: Food. Sold by SusannahTucker. Now here's something I am willing to put in my mouth!

Category: Food. Now here’s something I am willing to put in my mouth!

Category: Black & White. Sold by JensLindstrom. Mother said if I have nothing nice to say, I should say nothing at all. Therefore, no comment.

Category: Black & White. Mom always said if I have nothing nice to say, I should say nothing at all. Therefore, I will not comment on what I suspect inspired this photo.

Category: Color. Photo by EpicureCulture. That does not look like a comfortable bunny.

Category: Color. That’s one way to put a bunny on a fence. The photographer must have really hated that bunny.

Category: Still Life. Sold by MarcLoretPhotography. I always love artful decrepitude (see my header image for a prime example), and this is really exceptional!

Category: Still Life. I always love artful decrepitude (see my header image for a prime example), and this is really exceptional!

Category: Fashion. Sold by CarynDrexl. Calling it fashion is stretching it a bit, but it's certainly interesting.

Category: Fashion. Honey, you’ve got a little something on your face. If this is a new trend, I’m moving to the International Space Station until it’s over. Actually, the fashion category had a number of weird photos, but I’m going to save those for another day.

Category: Landscape & Architecture. Sold by ObservationFullNFelt. It's hard to imagine that anyone would pay $15 plus shipping for an out-of-focus photo of New York. I would think half the world has those already.

Category: Landscape & Architecture. Why would anyone pay $15 plus shipping for an out-of-focus photo of New York? Judging by the hordes of tourists skillfully wielding cameras, I would think half the world has their own blurry NYC pics already.

Category: Monochromatic. Sold by PhotosByArtofEntropy. Who wants pictures of this chick's dirty feet? And does her landlord know she's standing on the sink?

Category: Monochromatic. Who wants to hang a picture of this chick’s dirty feet on their wall? And does her mother know she’s standing on the sink? Young lady, get down from there this instant!

Category: Nature (!?). Sold by EclecticForest. This seems highly unsanitary. For the cat.

Category: Nature (!?). This seems highly unsanitary. Mostly for the cat.

Category: Portrait. Store: DaoPhotography. I don't usually include two items from the same seller, but this was so fascinating, I couldn't resist.

Category: Portrait. I love this picture, but it took me a while to realize who it was reminding me of.

Category: Vintage. It kind of freaks me out to think that someday, someone may be pawing through old, crappy, out-of-focus photos featuring my finger and selling them on Etsy.

Category: More. Photographer: 3LPhotography. At least now we know what

Category: More. At least now we know what “More” means.

I couldn't sign off without including one more item from the More category. The title is

I couldn’t sign off without including one more item from the More category. The title is “IDK About This Hot Dog #30.” Thats right. Theres a whole series of them, though this hot dog with a pearl earring is far and away my favorite.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

35 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXXVI: Picture This

  1. I am an artist. I am past president of a craft guild and past board member of a pretty big one . . . no disclaimer necessary, my Dear, for these extremely well-curated Thursday posts. As long as you’re funny, you’re fine and you have nothing to fear. Stay the weird, acerbic, smart, and brutally funny course. I tip my hat and thank you, always, for Etsomnia.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s so nice of you to say! I just worry that one of the makers whose merch I am lampooning could come across one of my posts and stop making art. The very last thing I want is less art in the world. (Even bad art!)

      What you said really means a lot to me. Thank you so much! Hugs!


  2. love your selections, Etsy is a fascinating place to get lost on a rainy day – some of these would give me nightmares tho!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the compliment! I desperately love Etsy. Most days, I’m wearing at least one piece of clothing or jewelry from Etsy, my house is chock-a-block with Etsy decor, and the site is the first place I go when I need something unique. I love the fails, too. They make it more fun.


  3. My goodness some of those were a little – off the wall! I thought they insect ‘glasses’ were kind of creepy!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I do not even know where to start… how about with the Fiona Apple “Criminal” inspired photo-shoot? Wait, that’s a HOT DOG?? I honestly thought someone was bored enough to dress up their finger… I guess putting a tiny wig on a hot-dog would be even more disturbing so, win(!??).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. i really hope that’s a actually a hot dog.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. These are hilarious! I am now going to attempt to avoid Etsy, lest I get caught up trying to find even more…interesting…things!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your selections always bless my eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. what to say, what to say…OK. Monochromatic and Figural are from the same family tree, aren’t they? Geez….

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Have you read “A Dirty Job” by Christopher Moore? The badger in costume reminds me of the squirrels in that book. I’m not kidding. It’s worth a read for reasons beyond creepily dressed dead squirrels.

    The bug glasses?? We’ll I’m heading to the space station with you! Yeech.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Funny and a little creepy collection as you found here Donna 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. OH MY GOD, i am a victim of etsomnia too! this is great, i love it. the worry stone i mention in one post was an etsy purchase. usually my regretsies are antique blouses that are gorgeous but never fit my too-big-boobs. i have an etsy shop where i sell the ‘junque’ my husband collected when alive and crap i pick up on the side of the road after tag sales and just some cool old stuff i have. all to help pay crazy cat lady expenses. great post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Two things… I’m with you on the space station thing. If the locusts are coming, I’m going!!! And as for that girl standing on the sink… why didn’t she wash her feet while she was up there??

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh my word! I have to share that bloody creepy sloth kid with my sisters who are both fanatical about sloths. It might just cure them of their sloth-mania.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume 53: Come On, Vogue! | My OBT

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