My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XLI: Ermahgerd! Prerm!*

24 Comments

*Translation: Oh My God, Prom!

Me and my headless date, 1979. (Mom was always cutting the heads off my prom dates.)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

It’s the time of year again when limousines stuffed full of hormonal youths roam the streets like sharks in a kiddie pool. When tuxes are rented by optimistic teens. When high school students with tortured hair, sporting wrist corsages, suddenly go all matchy-matchy, sometimes covered in too much fabric, but more often wearing too little. That’s right. This week’s Etsomnia post is about prom dresses!

As nutty as Etsy gets about weddings, there is every bit as much giddy exuberance about prom. Maybe it’s because they’re trying to appeal to a (hopefully) younger audience, maybe it’s because they didn’t get to go to prom themselves, or maybe it’s just because it’s fun, but the Etsy community has really turned it out for prom this year.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Well, that’s one way to get noticed. By clowns.

This prom dress is actually bumming me out. By MindfulnessMantra

Listed as “Sari Prom Dress.” Forgive me, but it’s more sorry than sari.

Say what you will about this prom dress situation. At least it's cheerful! By MissAlphabet

From the Spring 2015 Pinterest Fail Collection.

The description of this frump-fest is so thorough, it includes the measurement from “nipple to nipple.” I promise you no one will be looking at your breasts.

Q: What are you wearing to prom? A: R Kelly’s sheets.

Now THIS is more like it! By PrincessBride (I always loved that movie)

Now THIS is more like it! By PrincessBride (I always loved that movie)

I wonder if this one comes with its own charger. By CoutureGOWN

She had her colors done. She’s not a spring, she’s not a summer. She’s a nuclear winter.

Just because it works in your bathroom doesn't mean you should wear it. By TheMushroomPatch

Just because it works in your bathroom doesn’t mean you should wear it.

This is not a phase you're going to want photographic evidence of. By DashAClothing

Let me give you a piece of advice. No matter how committed you are to this right now, I promise you this is not a phase you’re going to want photographic evidence of.

Dear teenagers: Make better choices. Love, Me. By ThaiRastafari

Dear teenagers: Make better choices. Love, Me.

I am such a sucker for ombre, but Id have a terrible time choosing between the two! By Aseloley

I’m a total sucker for ombré, but I don’t know how I’d ever choose between the two! By Aseloley

There were so many good things about the eighties. This is not one of them. By PaulinasCloset

There were so many good things about the eighties. This is not one of them.

I know where she was trying to go with this one. She didn't get there.

I know where she was trying to go with this one. She missed by a mile. She should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

This dress is so skimpy, you could get pregnant from a passing dirty thought. By SarahsExoticEssentia

This dress is so skimpy, you could get pregnant from a stiff drink.

Another valiant effort that ended in D.I.Y. disaster. By LyndseyBoutique

Another valiant effort that ended in D.I.Y. disaster.

If you're really going to go to prom dressed as a fairy, DON'T WEAR YOUR HIKING BOOTS. By OshunCreations

If you’re really going to go to prom dressed as a homeless fairy zombie, DON’T WEAR YOUR MOON BOOTS.

This happened to me once on Fifth Avenue, and I went two whole blocks before someone told me I'd tucked my dress into my pantyhose. By PapuszaCouture

This happened to me once on Fifth Avenue, and I went two whole blocks before someone told me I’d tucked my dress into my pantyhose. Bastards.

If this were being made for me (perish the thought), they’d have to switch out those blooms for sunflowers. By Glamtastik whose other items are almost all really gorgeous. Almost.

I want to make fun, but it’s just so darned cute. I can, however, complain about the price which is $500 FOR THE SKIRT. By SistersOfTheMoon

This one is so special, it is coming at you life-sized.

Rest assured that if your daughter wears this to prom, no one is going to be able to even approach first base without hedge clippers.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

24 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XLI: Ermahgerd! Prerm!*

  1. Can’t stop laughing oh sorry… I don’t know who have more humor sense.. you .. or them… XD

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hahahah! this is great! i have to find my prom picture. i had a chaste ponytail, no makeup, and a to the neck Gunny Sacks dress.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My prom dress was a tiered (skirt), to-the-knee bustier dress which was black satin & lace. It came with a matching bolero jacket (ca 1988!). Mom bought me elbow-length, fingerless lace gloves to wear it without the jacket. My date’s brother’s girlfriend (in her 20s at the time) was a “big-boned” curvy gal trying to squeeze herself into a slinky number with poofy sleeves. She had the nerve to say I looked slutty. At least I wasn’t busting out of MY dress! The one & only night I ever removed a shoe to throw down with some dumb biotch… No blows thrown; for the record. 😉

    That ombre number is SOOOoooo tempting! It’s only $60(!??)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your dress sounds adorable. Very Who’s That Girl. I love that you threw your shoe. You go, girl!

      Regarding the ombre dress, it is really tempting. If you order it, will you let me know what you think?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I would, but being only 4’11” tall, I fear the maxi-dress will make me look even more Lilliputian.

        I really wanted to make her eat my shoe… with my fist attached.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Goodness! The most extreme thing I ever remember happening at one of our proms is when someone’s date dedicated “Only the Good Die Young” to her, and she spent the next half hour sobbing in the ladies room from humiliation.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. My proms were nightmares but at least it wasn’t because of the dresses. I think. Actually I’ve been able to block all but the worst moments.

    With so many of those I think, if only you’d stopped sooner. It’s as if they fell in a ribbon bin and almost drowned.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. PS, I now look forward to Thursdays. Bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha Ha1 Oh I love Thursdays when you do this Etsy post, it is such a treat. Where do I start with this lot? Some of them are so hideous! That purple bacofoil number for one, the garden on a dress one atrocious, but I did actually like the peacock one! By the way, you looked lovely on your prom night 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. where to start? where to start? No need! You did it all for me! What a beautiful mess you selected. Love ’em all!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my. Holy…wow. I have no words. This is a great edition!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I mean, really?! Disasters, the lot of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Etsomnia™ 186: Prom Season | My OBT

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.