I have a friend in Fort Collins, Colorado, who goes to an annual seventies costume party at the wonderfully-preserved retro home of some friends. As fabulous as that place looks, I think this penthouse may give it a run for its money. This apartment is for sale in Chicago’s West Roger’s Park area, and it’s been haunting me since I saw an article about it a few days ago.

The penthouse was designed in 1972, and it looks exactly as it must have in its hey day. Its individual elements – aggressive emerald, orange, and harvest gold color scheme, loud wallpaper, and patterned everything – are straight out of my nightmares, but when you put it all together, somehow it turns fabulous (albeit in a fun-to-look-at-but-I’d-never-want-to-live-there way).

The apartment includes three – count ’em, three! – dining areas, two identical mirror-image bathrooms, vintage televisions, and the craziest circular sectional you have ever seen. Even the insides of the closets are covered in nutty seventies wallpaper. I don’t know whether it is being sold furnished, but I can’t imagine most of this stuff fitting in anywhere else, so I’ll bet they’d accept a reasonable offer.

It is in such pristine condition, it seems like it’s straight out of a time warp. Nothing is faded, the furniture looks brand new, and those awful carpets all appear to be stain-free. Only the bedroom looks lived in, and even there, the wallpaper is remarkably preserved. Makes me wonder who the hell has been living in it.

I was a little bummed that the bathroom phones weren’t rotary, but otherwise, the apartment seems like a wonderful slice of the disco age. And it’s a bargain at just $158K! Just promise me that if you buy it, you’ll invite me over. I’d love an excuse to get another perm!