Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Have you ever had one of those years when it seems like everyone you know is either having a baby or getting married? So far, 2016 includes six weddings (thus far) and four babies. Sheesh!

One of these weddings is taking place in Puerto Rico in June, and the brides decided to make the wedding a white party. Since I have some time to plan, I wanted to find the fiercest, most flattering white clothing possible. (Pause for laughter)  If you aren’t shaped like a super model and you have spent any time trying on white clothes in department stores, you’ll understand why the HTML color code for white is “ffffff.” This is why white parties should really be limited to young people. Only the youngest, fittest, least caucasian people can carry off head-to-toe white without looking like an escaped mental patient, little bo peep, a lab tech, a marshmallow, or whatever this is. As usual, there were also some exceptionally lovely items, both new and vintage.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.