My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 117: Hold That Pose 2

13 Comments

I don’t mean to sound like a know-it-all, but I have had arms most of my life, and she is doing it wrong.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

In December of 2014, when Etsomnia was still young and I wasn’t yet the official Etsy bogeyman, I published Etsomnia™ Volume XXI: Hold that Pose!. It was big fun, and I’ve been tucking away wacky Etsy poses ever since. Today, we benefit from that weird collection! Sure, if you’re selling yoga clothing, nutty poses make sense, but that excuse doesn’t work for these items. I had a lot of fun looking for today’s photos, and I especially enjoyed guessing what the art directors were going for.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

The photographer took so long, the poor model froze to death

Director: I know you’re freezing, but can you hold that pose for just one more minute… Damnit, we lost another one!

Is it just me, or are this guys arms and legs the same length?

Don’t judge. Maybe if your arms and legs were the same length, you’d spend more time on all fours, too.

I love that she’s shocked by the doll head, but not at all phased by finding a pilates ball in a half pipe in the woods!

Director: Okay, Annie Potts, you’re excited, but you really have to pee…

Oh, god, is there something on my back? Is there? GET IT OFF ME!!!

Oh, god, is there something on my back? Is there? GET IT OFF ME!!!

Why, no! I haven't ever kissed a bunny between the ears. Why do you ask?

Why, no! I haven’t ever kissed a bunny between the ears. Why do you ask?

Sorry you fell, but if you could just stay like that for a sec...

So sorry you fell! We’ll call 911 in just a sec, but if you could stay just… like… that… (click-click-click)

I'll be right there. I just need to mark this building...

I’ll be right there. I just need to mark this building…

You're out!

Looks like someone’s been watching reruns again!

I'd like you to look like a mental patient with a deep itch in your left ear.

Director: Give me mental patient with a deep itch in your left ear… Perfect!

Looks like Tinkerbell has been hitting the fairy dust again.

Looks like Tinkerbell has been hitting the fairy dust again.

Proof that a good attitude is sexy!

Werk!

Shayna didn't understand the funny looks when she told people she was a shed dancer...

Shayna didn’t understand why she always got such funny looks when she told people she was a trailer park dancer…

Looks like someone studied with Joey Tribiani!

Looks like someone studied with Joey Tribbiani!

Director: Good, but I need more scoliosis…

You're a sexy zebra with giant underpants!

Director: You’re a sexy zebra with giant underpants!

This is how rock stars stand, right?

This is how rock stars stand, right?

something funny

Model: What’s my motivation?
Director: You’re a little teapot.

Say what you will about Bob’s modelling abilities, but no one could deny he is a great pointer.

 Reader caption time! 

Reader caption time! 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

13 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 117: Hold That Pose 2

  1. LOL too funny! The only caption I have is: “I’m as confused as you are.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Nobody puts Furby in the corner!”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. For some reason I keep thinking of the Plasmatics?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Even Furries get Brazilians”.

    That was the first thing that entered my head so there you go. That can be my caption.

    What in the heck are people – whether sellers, photographers, or models – thinking with those poses? Some of them are exceptionally creative and yet still so very, very wrong. So much thought and effort put into producing something so bonkers. Maybe they think it will make their listing more eye-catching. Maybe so but I am pretty sure it isn’t helping shift product.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I needed this! Too, too funny!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. BWHAHAHA!! As always, the captions are the star!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Ugly Xmas | My OBT

Leave a Reply to Donna from MyOBT Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.