“Romantic Hulk Pillow” may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Etsy, and you know that’s saying something
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Pillows are one of those Etsy categories that holds many surprises. Some good, some bad, some very, very bad, and, inevitably, some (NSFW) horrid. I decided to skip specialty items like wedding ring pillows and pet beds, but even so, I had a lot of fun looking, and I hope you do, too.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Between the elf hat, snug tee, and ridiculous beard, I would normally label this guy an asshole. Do the pillows make him a cornhole?
I don’t know what it means, but I love it! By PoppyPillow
The neckties really butch them up…
Hang on, buddy. The Sea Shepherd is on the way
Don’t pass out on this one. You may be wrinkle-free when you doze off, but you’ll wake up like this
Just gorgeous! By Anekdesigns
This is what I assumed everyone on Match.com really looks like
When decorating your “boudoir” in 1970s hideous, you’ll want to get in as many ugly fabrics as possible
“Tasteful girlfriend pillow” isn’t angry. She’s disappointed
Abominable Snow Penis. I kid you not
Aspiring cat hoarder plagued with allergies? Problem solved!
Sari borders always make me happy! By ArtsyCraftsyDesigns
Listed as a “designer” item, this pillow appears to be covered with rectums. Designer rectums, presumably
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My OBT 
December 7, 2017 at 8:19 am
More create and they will come???Who buys some of this stuff…or do they?
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December 7, 2017 at 2:05 pm
Oh my. The collection of colourful puckered anuses made me wheeze-laugh. I find that girlfriend pillow thing a tad disturbing. Why is it only half a torso? What’s going on with that? What do purchasers intend to do with it? I imagine it is critical that it is washable. Judder.
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December 7, 2017 at 5:09 pm
Yike. You went sooo much farther with that GF pillow than I did. Now I need a shower. LOL
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December 7, 2017 at 5:39 pm
Sorry. Kind of.
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December 7, 2017 at 9:01 pm
Ha!
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