
Put that thumb down, sir. It is unwwarranted.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
When it comes to jumpsuits, Etsy offers equal parts yes and definitely yes and oh, yes and, predictably, hell, no. Alas, I no longer have the figure (or the nerve) to carry them off, but boy if I did, I’d be all over some of these things. As expected, there were the usual number of nopes and whys and WTFs to keep me entertained.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Just the thing for your magazine-perfect family! By LittleMiaBella

Amish-meets-chastity-belt chic, your time has come!

Truth be told, I think the jumpsuite is beautiful, but the pose… Is she lifting a leg? In a parking lot?

I’m not typically into dropped crotches, but this is super cute! By EUGfashion

Clown chic is not a thing

I’m not going to lie. I kind of wish they were googly eyes.

Glorious! By PastLivesofNewYork

Couples that garbage pick together, stick together.

Well, this is not going to help with my body issues

Werk! By HouseofMann

Medical marijuana is the only reasonable explanation.

And now, a closeup of me wearing this thing.

Runway ready? More like run away ready.

How adorable does she look? By LOMstore

Catsuit? Maybe if this is the cat you wish to resemble.

Q. What should I do with my grandma’s 1970s hand towels?
A. Not this.
October 11, 2018 at 8:26 am
You certainly brightened up my Thursday morning (which I should not spend twiddling away on the computer–but here I am). When I saw the garbage picking couple, I could only think of Dexies Midnight Runners and their video for Come On Eileen.
Thanks for distracting…I mean entertaining me.
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October 11, 2018 at 9:29 am
How funny! I remember that video. You’re absolutely right. Very glad to brighten up your Thursday, and thank you. You have brightened up mine.
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October 11, 2018 at 9:36 am
I’m laughing so hard, my ribs are hurting, Donna. This is the first Etsomnia post I’ve seen. Love the def, btw. Also, am sending this link to LOLSister (Land of Lincoln), who is also a Donna. Thanks for the Thursday ZOMG Funny!
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October 11, 2018 at 10:21 am
Wow! Thank you for the rave review! Your first Etsomnia? You’ve got a lot of catching up to do…
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October 11, 2018 at 10:00 am
Yup, you got me on a oh-hell-no on everything except the mommy-and-daughter one.
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October 11, 2018 at 10:22 am
That one really is exceptional. I’d look like a circus tent, but those two wear them well!
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October 11, 2018 at 12:50 pm
I like the look of some of the more tailored jumpsuits but I can never get past the thought of how much hassle it is to go for a pee wearing one of these things. It’s why I gave up dungarees years ago.
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October 11, 2018 at 2:14 pm
That’s true, but if I had a flat stomach, I’d be willing to suffer!
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October 11, 2018 at 2:32 pm
I know Russian lounge singers who would wear that cowboy thumbs-up jumpsuit 😀 That “catsuit” killed me!
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October 11, 2018 at 2:40 pm
You know, you’re probably right about the lounge singers. And oh, that catsuit…
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October 12, 2018 at 11:54 pm
Every single one of these is such a HUGE no from me!
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October 13, 2018 at 12:33 am
Ha! I know what you mean. The ones I liked, I still couldn’t wear.
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October 17, 2018 at 7:28 pm
Those magazine perfect family outfits even match the towels!! Adorable.
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October 17, 2018 at 8:36 pm
They really are unattainably lovely.
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