What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 214: Romance is Dead


I have never met a cat that would stand for this.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

How weird is it that this is Etsomnia™ number 214 and today is 2/14?

I’m lucky enough to be happily married, and I think romance is great. However, just because I’m coupled up doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how tough dating was. I definitely sympathize with all the singles out there. So if you’re not exactly enjoying your solitary status, this week’s post might help you appreciate your singlehood a little more! Today, we’re looking at the more questionable Valentine’s items on offer. Of course, there are some wonderful things out there that definitely deserve the label romantic, but this being Etsy, there are also some real head scratchers.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

“Sexy” redhead cork board for that special someone. Pushpins sold separately.

“Invitation for romance.” These do look like an invitation, but I’m not getting romance.

Sea glass art. So adorable! By SketchedInStoneArt

All I can see is this.

That’s a lot.

Favored by crazy stalkers everywhere!

I’m not sure why these are labelled Valentine’s gift, but I’m in! By Twisteria

“Romantic assemblage” is one of those Etsy searches that turns up profoundly weird stuff.

There’s a span of a few blocks in NYC that sells silk flowers. I always wondered how they stay in business. Mystery solved.

The description claims this purse exudes love and sex, but it looks more to me like it exudes dust mites.

“Romantic bat girl.” I’m not making that up.

Here’s a tip: if you’re trying to sell a knife as a romantic gift, don’t engrave “Johnson” on it. Just saying. #CustomBobbit


Do you think they’re padded?

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

13 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 214: Romance is Dead

  1. We can always count on you to bring in the goods. lol
    Happy Valentine day to you.
    psI’ve opened an Etsy shop for my cards. Latebloomingdesigns… honest but fair. I need to know if I’m completely crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This whole post was a total knee-slapper!! Very funny stuff!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for the Valentines’ Day chuckles.


  4. There are so many “What the actual flipping heck!?” moments in this week’s episode of Etsomina. The silk flower shroud looks positively sensible compared to that heinous bat thing but the pick of the bunch when it comes to the worst item absolutely has to be that potted head. That’s terrifying awful and I think is a serious contender for worst item on Etsomnia ever.

    PS The phrase “potted head” immediately came to mind because that is what we call “head cheese” in Scotland – potted heid to be more linguistically precise. As absolutely godawful as that delicacy is, it is probably still more appetising than that baby’s head in a pot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My father-in-law liked head cheese. The local shops stopped carrying it (because it’s repulsive), so as a joke, we ordered him a 5-lb log of the stuff for his birthday. He didn’t finish it, but he ate way more than I would have thought possible.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Where we lived previously, on the west coast of Scotland, it was still popular enough that our town’s grocery store stocked it. This was a store that regularly ran out of wholewheat bread and quit stocking vegetarian foods when they needed shelf space for festive snacks yet they always had potted heid available. I was subjected to “meat paste” as a kid. Nothing could compel me to eat potted heid.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That gave me a literal full-torso shudder. Child abuse, pure and simple.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I love the sea glass. And I do not want ANY purse of mine to exude love and sex . . . or really exude anything period. And a most happy Valentine’s Day to you and Beloved!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. #CustomBobbit LOL! LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.