
Here’s a maker who puts the “NO” in monokini!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
I recently received a very sweet spring gift from fellow blogger and friend, Beverly, who writes More Ink Please. It was beautiful handmade card featuring irises, my favorite flower. This got me thinking about all the wonderful floral-themed stuff on Etsy, which in turn got me thinking about the less-than-wonderful floral disasters out there, too. So today, it’s all about the flowers!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

This card is so lovely! By LateBloomingDesigns (A.K.A. Beverly)

12 carat diamond cauliflower?

The seller suggests this chandelier could be hung over your bed. I would never sleep. I’d be sitting up with a can of Raid, waiting for the spiders to descend on me.

Gorgeous! I want all three! By LeMiroirMagique

This crocheted “spring dress” must weigh 20 lbs. Perfect for spring in Siberia (where it would be covered with a coat, which would be an improvement). (Maybe.)

Well, that’s one way to sell a hat.

Wow! I MUST have a pair of these! By KayteFawcettStudio

I’m all for reuse and recycle, but sometimes, the trick is knowing when to just throw it out.

“Fairy boots.” I guess it would depend on the fairy.

After seeing this gorgeous necklace by YaniaJewelryNYC, I think I may have to pay them a visit!

Did I miss a memo? Are smushed flower sweaters a thing now? No? Oh, thank heaven!

If this is “fine art” as the description claims, then my 6-year-old niece is an artistic genius.

If I had these in my mini skirt, Dr. Martens, and biker jacket days, I would have been the QUEEN of 1982! By LirikaMatoshi

Bless her heart.

Well, I don’t get it, but he’s certainly feeling it.

It’s a real challenge to make something that looks both crusty and hairy. Nailed it!
April 4, 2019 at 8:19 am
Thank you for the kind words.
I often see ‘fine art’ that if I had done something like it people would say…”You need a few lessons my dear”. I guess it depends on who you are or who your friends are.
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April 4, 2019 at 12:18 pm
I imagine that’s true. And I don’t set myself up as an expert by any means. I just know what speaks to me.
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April 4, 2019 at 1:57 pm
Your work is lovely, Beverly. As someone who cannot paint or draw flowers at all, I am so impressed with artists who can do so and so delicately too.
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April 4, 2019 at 2:31 pm
Thank you. I’m not to good with drawing or painting either but I am having fun shapeing paper into flowers. I’m also sure someone as talented as you are you could splash some paint or ink into a flower shape.
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April 4, 2019 at 2:53 pm
You are so kind. There are some things I cannot draw at all, no matter how I try, and flowers and horses are among them.
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April 4, 2019 at 4:54 pm
Hands and feet get me ever time. And I imagine any horse I attempted would look more like a vaguely-organized amoeba.
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April 4, 2019 at 4:53 pm
She really did do a lovely job!
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April 4, 2019 at 11:59 am
OMG that crusty purse looks like an infection! 😕
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April 4, 2019 at 12:21 pm
Isn’t it the pits? I just despise it. Yuck!
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April 4, 2019 at 1:55 pm
You have struck a balance between wonderful and wretched in this week’s edition. My favourite items are the boots and the tights. I would have absolutely bought and worn those tights back in my teen years when I liked to wear crazy tights to offset the fact I was forced into a rigid uniform. It helped that one of my sisters was utterly mortified by my tights and would deny even knowing me at times. That propelled me to get even more outrageous with the designs I bought. Worst item has to be that horrible brown purse. It looks like something you might find at the bottom of a hoarder’s pile. It might even be self-felted out of a mummified pet.
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April 4, 2019 at 4:53 pm
The phrase self-felted made me hyperventilate. So funny. I was the same with tights, though it was my mother I wanted to get a rise out of. Arse.
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April 4, 2019 at 5:12 pm
Ha ha! I love that you used the word arse.
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April 4, 2019 at 6:53 pm
That was just for you!
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