Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
During my endless* (236 editions of Etsomnia™ feels endless) searches on Etsy, I’ve found many, MANY terrible upcycled items. So this week, I thought I’d pull together a rogue’s gallery of some of Etsy’s worst and best recycled offerings.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
She does not seem at all embarrassed about that terrible top, but then again, she probably asked for that haircut.Hate to part with your smelly old boots? Stick flowers in them. That seems legit.What an awesome use for old license plates! Mailbox by LicenseToCraftNo head, no clothes, and high heels. What do we think, ladies? Are we feeling powerful yet?“Date night” top. I don’t think you should hold your breath for a second date.I have always wanted a steamer trunk and I love a bar, so this mashup is right up my alley! By AMflorenceWhy pay Big Pharma’s exorbitant prices when you can make your own walker out of recycled PVC? What could go wrong?This steampunk skirt looks like it belongs on an extra in a 19th century zombie movie. And not in a good way.These are stunning! By MerrillLandIntended as a newborn gift: “Welcome to the world! Here’s some stuff I garbage picked and an old sock!”At least you’d know what to bring as a hostess gift...“Games People Play.” I absolutely love this! By ElizabethRosenArtA dress made of pot holders, for that person on your gift list who’s just too hot to handle. (See what I did there?)For the last time, Ken, I am NOT going to touch your duck.
I feel like there is some sort of a Venn diagram for Etsy makers who are also psychopaths. What else could explain that dismembered Ken or the weird naked doll assemblage? I would be making a swift exit from any household that contained those items. Also, what is it about Etsy sellers taking utterly crappy photos of their creations? In the age of digital photography, why would you go ahead and use a blurry image? Or an image full of visual clutter? I do wish I had the calves that would slip into those rainbow boots. Those are fantastic – though I suspect the heel is too high for me anyway. The thing I am most coveting from this week’s selection, however, is the steamer trunk. I have always wanted one of those ever since I was wee and got to explore the one that belonged to my Great-Gran.
I am quite entertained by the Venn diagram idea, though. Also, I’m in the middle of bingeing Mindhunter on Netflix, so serial killers are much on my mind. (It’s a great series, by the way.)
I seem to recall that my nana had two in her attic, also. I imagine my mother threw them out along with everything else. Not a big lover of stuff my mother.
Naked girl power and the “date night” (I HAD to put that in quotation marks) top both left me with my jaw on my desk. The boots are fab. The toilet BBQ actually made me snort: somewhere in Texas, someone is using one of those RIGHT NOW!
My OBT 
August 29, 2019 at 6:07 am
OMG!
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August 29, 2019 at 6:42 am
To say the least!
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August 29, 2019 at 6:57 am
Just wondering??? Do any of the ‘artist’ ever come back on you and ask why you said what you said about their work?
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August 29, 2019 at 8:18 am
On occasion. I try to placate them and tell them my opinion doesn’t matter and they should just keep doing them.
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August 29, 2019 at 10:34 am
You are really an expert in finding those special items, Donna 🙂
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August 29, 2019 at 11:26 am
That made me snort!
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August 29, 2019 at 11:37 am
🙂
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August 29, 2019 at 2:09 pm
I feel like there is some sort of a Venn diagram for Etsy makers who are also psychopaths. What else could explain that dismembered Ken or the weird naked doll assemblage? I would be making a swift exit from any household that contained those items. Also, what is it about Etsy sellers taking utterly crappy photos of their creations? In the age of digital photography, why would you go ahead and use a blurry image? Or an image full of visual clutter? I do wish I had the calves that would slip into those rainbow boots. Those are fantastic – though I suspect the heel is too high for me anyway. The thing I am most coveting from this week’s selection, however, is the steamer trunk. I have always wanted one of those ever since I was wee and got to explore the one that belonged to my Great-Gran.
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August 29, 2019 at 5:23 pm
The steamer trunk is positively dreamy! And if those boots fit me, I’d be all over them.
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August 29, 2019 at 5:24 pm
I am quite entertained by the Venn diagram idea, though. Also, I’m in the middle of bingeing Mindhunter on Netflix, so serial killers are much on my mind. (It’s a great series, by the way.)
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August 29, 2019 at 8:49 pm
Yes, I binged the latest season across three nights.
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August 29, 2019 at 9:16 pm
So damned good!
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August 29, 2019 at 7:42 pm
Me too. I have always wanted a steamer trunk. My great Aunt Had a wonderful attic with one. Don’t know what ever happened to it.
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August 29, 2019 at 8:49 pm
They really are magical in some way.
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August 29, 2019 at 9:17 pm
I was utterly fascinated by the fact that my grandparents (and parents) cruised to Europe with their own closets. Amazing.
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August 29, 2019 at 9:15 pm
I seem to recall that my nana had two in her attic, also. I imagine my mother threw them out along with everything else. Not a big lover of stuff my mother.
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August 29, 2019 at 6:29 pm
Naked girl power and the “date night” (I HAD to put that in quotation marks) top both left me with my jaw on my desk. The boots are fab. The toilet BBQ actually made me snort: somewhere in Texas, someone is using one of those RIGHT NOW!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 29, 2019 at 7:12 pm
I expect to have nightmares about that BBQ
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