Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Today’s subject is a heated topic in our house. Beloved keeps expressing an interest in getting a fanny pack, and I keep vetoing the idea. (Beloved just said, “Honey, I’m joking. Most of the time.”) I can’t get behind them. (See what I did there?) They’re just plain tragic. I get that they’re “in” right now, but that doesn’t mean they’re in any way flattering or attractive. It doesn’t help that this is not an area to which I wish to call attention.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!