When it comes to costumes, there’s no excuse for lazy.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
10/23/14: It’s nearly the end of October, and so this week’s edition of Etsomnia™ is dedicated to Halloween and to costumes. To the large and small, gorgeous, gory, and god-awful. Buried among the endless offerings of Frozen crap, steampunk junk, and pretentious caballero getups (seriously, what is with all the caballero costumes?) were some fairly special items I hope you enjoy.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
LillieBelleBoutique is full of beautiful, high-end (and exorbitantly-priced) costumes for children like this “Renoir Girl.” I don’t know any child that wouldn’t immediately make this sticky, so I recommend the children are first shrink-wrapped. You know, with air holes
And speaking of gratuitously-expensive costumes, for a cool $12K, you can dress like a whatever this is. “EcoFAB Trash Couture.”
Wonderfully weird fetish costume by HouseOfHarlot. If someone asked me what my costume was supposed to be, I would tell them I was half of Spy vs Spy. Or Michael Jackson. Or maybe a tampon.
It’s hard to know whether this is intentionally a costume or just an extreme case of knit-mania, but either way, yike. The seller took down this item almost as soon as she listed it, but her store is filled with wonderfully awful items.
I don’t know what costume this would go with, but I know I need one. By LivFreeCreations
This, ladies and gents, is how it’s done! Beetlejuice family costumes by Deconstructress, whose store is full of fantastic, interesting individual and family costumes
Okay, maybe just one more. Deconstructress has so many needful things in her store, it’sa good thing I can’t afford any of it or I’d be in real trouble
Completely terrifying (and itchy-looking) Krampus costume. This one has taken a turn for the fetishy, which is weird because Krampus is the demon-like creature of German folklore who accompanied St. Nick and kidnapped naughty children. Alright, I hear it.
You know that toddler could have done a better job herself. By a seller who is, frankly, really not applying herself
Oh, cut it out. People expect me to find awful things and be snarky, and you’re ruining everything with your cute. By TheWishingElephant
That’s more like it! Bunny costume for your bearded dragon. Yep. By a seller who I’m assuming hit the wacky weed pretty hard before coming up with this business model
And while we’re on the subject of pet costumes, how adorable/hilarious is this? No creature can express humiliation better than a dog. By SewingArt
This is a fascinating idea. You download the PDF template and instructions, then assemble and decorate however you like. I really like the designs. The folds do very interesting things with light. Might have to try this myself. By Wintercroft
Oh, look! He’s dressed as a douchebag!
Stop that at once! I already told you this post is all about weird and bad and fascinating. I have no time for your adorable shenanigans. Last-minute costume instructions by AlphabetCircus
Do you need a costume that makes you look like a turd covered in burrs? Well, look no further!
I die. By LittleButterCupBaby
Billed as “Sexy Rapunzel Tights” for when you want to look like your pubic hair is so long, it needs braiding.
This was too awesome to keep to myself. The materials are listed as spandex, paint, and “comfy,” which I assume is a reference to the sweat socks
This knockout is listed as “Snow Enchantress.” Indeed. By ThePlumedSerpent
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My OBT 
October 21, 2021 at 8:21 am
I don’t think you can mess up cute kids no matter how hard you try. Hal
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October 21, 2021 at 10:03 am
That is the absolute truth!
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October 21, 2021 at 10:03 am
The little burrito with lettuce in her hair….so darn cute!
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October 21, 2021 at 10:03 am
Love that one!
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October 23, 2021 at 4:39 pm
I’ve seen a similar costume to the one created by Sugar Magnolia called “the fart”. Made sense to me. I am so in love with that little Edward Scissorhands though!
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