What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 329: Let’s Get Rhine-Stoned!


Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

I don’t always know where Etsy’s recommendations come from, but sometimes, they’re pretty far out there. I usually enjoy what their algorithm delivers, even though it seems to have decided that I’m some kind of cross between a drag queen, a 12-year-old boy, and a pensioner. In truth, at times, I’m all of those things. However, apropos of nothing, recently my recommendations have included some bizarre and epic-sized accessories I just had to share. Now that I’ve clicked on all this ridiculousness, my recommendations are going to be even more idiotic

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

This is the goofy item that inspired today’s post. The scariest thing about it is that IT SOLD.
Nice knockers!
Rhinestone-covered “googles.” Why can nobody spell anymore?
I can’t fault the execution, but the scale is just ridiculous.
The seller made a point to say this is a “lab-created” diamond. Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone’s going to be confused about that.
I know I’d cut myself to shreds, but wouldn’t they be fantastic on stage? By GlitzItUpGifts
This looks like someone raided the recycling bin.
I feel like with a different model, this could be fantastic. But not on this guy.
I love bling, but enough is enough!
Sure, it’s desperately ugly, but it would make a helluva weapon!
These are much more my speed! By LayeredMint
If these things don’t hook over the top of your head, they’re likely to rip your ears right off!
Her poor parents.
These would go great with my enlarged heart…
I really think sellers of embellished sunglasses should be required to show the view from INSIDE the glasses.
Another entry in the earlobe weightlifting heavyweight class…
1. Mesh and rhinestones don’t protect you from germs, 2. you look like a clown, and 3. cut it out.
Somebody call this girl an Uber. She shouldn’t try to get home on her own.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

9 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 329: Let’s Get Rhine-Stoned!

  1. Oh my. And “googles”, snicker! My autocorrect took it to “goggles” so no excuse!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Humm trying to be nice is hard today. But, they are interesting to look at one time. Hal

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I actually feel the pain of my ear lobes ripping just looking at some of these images. I do like some of my statement jewellery to be chunky but this is just too much. Not that I would ever wear them but I do love those sparkly gloves and my 16 year old son would love that red mask.

    Liked by 2 people

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