What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 346: Shark Week


Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

It’s shark week on the Discovery Channel, so it seemed fitting that we’d join in the fun. The timing is especially on the nosey because in NY, we’ve had more than a week of 90+ degree weather BUT WE CAN’T GO IN THE OCEAN BECAUSE SHARKS. Toothy bastards. How did they know?

Terrible dad-type shark jokes courtesy of the internet.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my Etsomnia™ posts!

That’s gorgeous, though I think it would be better in a public space with higher ceilings… By ConstantinosGreece
As slippers go, these are actually kind of cute! By MindfulShine

What did the shark get on his science exam?
A Sea-minus!

True story. By LegendaryApparelShop

Why did the Great White shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?
To get to the other tide!

I’m not mad about shark-shaped guest soaps, but WHY ARE THEY IN A COCKTAIL? I loath alcohol abuse. By AJsweetsoap

What’s a shark’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.

Much better. This is clearly soap. Murdery, murdery soap. By MoonShineSuds

What’s a shark’s favorite type of sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!

I’ll bet you didn’t expect to find a shark cage on Etsy! By PECindustrial
Give it a minute. You’ll get it… By DynamicWorkshop

I would love to see a great white shark before I die. Just not RIGHT before I die.

Not a terrible idea. By MainStreetTeesUS

What kind of fish performs operations on sick sharks?
A sturgeon!

Yikes! Sold by FloridaFossilFinds
I definitely didn’t expect this search to turn up anything stylish and yummy! By SurfRiderStickers

What happens when you combine a cow and a shark?
I don’t know, but I’m not going to try milking it!

Some people really love a theme… By MegansCreationsUS

What happened when the shark got famous?
He became a starfish.

I know a LOT of people who’d love this! By ShanyoTaciakDesign

Where do country music loving sharks vacation?
In Gnashville!

Here it is, folks. The Jackalope of the ocean…
Bath bomb. Seems like you’re going to need a bigger tub… By IvyMoonBodyCare

Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
You stop pretending.

Shark week is rife with dad joke potential. By BeeveeCo

And my favorite shark joke of all time:

Why do the Sharks live in the ocean and not in the sky?
Because the sky is Jets territory!

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

16 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 346: Shark Week

  1. Super Cute! Started the day with a big smile. Hal

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Just stay out of the water.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love that bar of soap, but not gonna wash with the ‘blood’ part.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “The Jackalope of the ocean” made me just about schnarf my hot tea. Hysterical.

    My 15 year old and I are pretty obsessed with all things shark. A few years ago, he got really into the 1916 shark attacks so we went on a tour of all of the relevant spots and visited the graves. I will have to add a few of these items to my favourites as potential gifts for him.

    I hope you are enjoying your time at the beach despite the sharks asserting their ownership of the sea.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Those are some surprisingly good finds (except maybe the horribly photoshoped nails). I would totally put that giant metal shark sculpture in my office. Come to think of it, it would go well with the giant rusty metal pirate ship sculpture I have there…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Couldn’t see anything past the first photo because that steampunk metal shark is SO fabulous!

    Liked by 1 person

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