What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 351: Have Yourself a Meowy Little Christmas


Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once in a while.

This may come as a surprise, but when you search Etsy for the terms cat and Christmas, all sorts of crap turns up. Mostly wearables like tshirts and sweatshirts, but there’s plenty of other awful junk as well. Let me be clear: I love cats. LOVE them. However, I loathe cat-themed junk. And since basically every other item I found involved a pun, I’ve also included a pile of terrible dad-style cat jokes. Let the groaning begin!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my Etsomnia™ posts!

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

I draw the line at litterbox-themed items in my holiday decor.

What did the cat say to her friend before a fight? “Hold my purrse.”

Not sure what this has to do with Christmas, but it did make me laugh. By WildOakStickers

What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!

“Christmas kitty painting.” I’m not buying it. Literally.

Why don’t you want to play poker with a cat? They tend to be cheetahs.

Not great. Not terrible. But definitely NOT worth $46.07.

What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order.

This is well done and all, but I have honestly never despised a show more than Cats the Musical.

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!

If I had 1. a cat, and 2. $2,500 burning a hole in my pocket, I imagine this might be very appealing. By PetspaceShop

What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo? An eskimew!

Musical cat Christmas tree. And if that’s not enough ugly for you, there’s also a puzzle version!

What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies!

If I ever tried to put a hat on my last little darling, it would have been a fight to the death (mine).

What’s a cat’s favorite sport? Hairball.

Cat-lover’s candle. I assume it’s tuna scented.

Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

This is one holiday card I’d love to receive! By JamieShelman

Why do cats make horrible DJs? They always paws the tunes.

Um, I guess it’s a boy?

Why shouldn’t you tell a cat lover your secrets? They’re always letting the cat out of the bag.

You know those movies where deranged dolls come to life and kill people? Meet The Santa Claws.

What’s smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee!

I find these cat toys irresistible! (It’s clearly time for another cat…) By DeadCleverCreations

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches? Sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.

“Festive” cat brooch. Because there’s nothing like a little derp on the holidays.

Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat. Huge faux paw.

Cat turd ornament, complete with “presentation box.” I do understand that this is a joke gift, but for me, the best thing about this listings is the reviews, which include “I’m afraid to ask how many cat poops were analyzed to get the correct detail.”

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

10 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 351: Have Yourself a Meowy Little Christmas

  1. The cat space is spectacular but shipping is crazy slow (from Vietnam, so it could possibly be a Valentine’s gift rather than a Christmas gift). I checked the site and they do have smaller cat spaces, all super cute!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. After the move I may get a cat. But I am 100% sure that none of today’s post will be in my house. Yes, I did laugh at some of them. Just plain stupid. Hal

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My cats threatened to become permanent outdoor cats if I brought any of this stuff indoors.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I have run those very search terms on Etsy hoping to find something tasteful that works with my holiday decor and is on a cat theme and … I came up empty. There was so much tragic tat to sort through that I gave up by page 15 of the results.

    Liked by 2 people

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