Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Vin·tage /ˈvin-tij/ noun. 1. a period in which something was made or was begun. 2. your old crap which you manage to sell to someone else. See also Garbage.
While I spend most of my Etsomnia column space on items found in Etsy’s handmade section, it has occurred to me that the vintage side deserves some of my affectionate snark as well. Sometimes, the past is best left in the past (or the dumpster from which it was undoubtedly taken).
As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.