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Etsomnia™ Volume XXXI: Green Day

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I never seem to have anything appropriate to wear on St. P’s Day. Maybe this year, I should get myself one of these. By NoSleevesNoProblems

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

St. Patrick’s Day is fast approaching, so this week’s Etsomnia post is about the craziest, the wackiest, the weirdest Irish-themed items on Etsy. Everything below came up when I searched for “St. Patrick’s Day.”

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

This seems like a pretty solid prediction. By KellyLikesToKraft

This seems like a pretty solid prediction. By KellyLikesToKraft

“Rugby striped green zippered pouch.” Anyone else think it looks like underpants?

Green felted vase. What? Why??? By LiveInFelt

The felting people are getting crazy again. I cannot imagine the purpose of this green felted vase, clearly made from the emissions of the bile ducts of some or another exotic worm.

“Futuristic Woodland Dress.” There is not enough beer in the world to get me into this green abomination. On the up side, though, it seems to have been pre-vomited upon.

What's worse than blue eyeshadow over your whole eyelid? Blue AND green eyeshadow, that's what. By PinkQuartzMinerals

What’s worse than blue eyeshadow over your whole eyelid? Blue AND green eyeshadow, that’s what.

I know that leprechauns are meant to be ageless, but this one seems to have suffered a stroke. By ClassicMemories

I know that leprechauns are meant to be immortal, but this one seems to have suffered a stroke. (To be fair, there were loads of ugly leprechaun figurines to chose from . . .)

If you're going to go leprechaun, you may as well go all the way. Oddly adorable hat and beard by BurlyBeardCo

If you’re going to go leprechaun, you may as well go all the way. Inexplicably adorable hat and beard by BurlyBeardCo

Hang on. Those are not shamrocks!!! By CoquetryClothing

Hang on. Those are not shamrocks!!!

Of course the cat people had to get in on the act. By ToCraftAHome

Of course the cat people had to jump on the St. Paddy’s Day bandwagon, too. And of course the poor cat is a ginger.

Another curveball from Etsy. Irish tea towel by HandyJan

Even after all this time, Etsy still manages to surprise me. Random beefcake Irish tea towel. I feel like you’d have to rewash your dishes after this had touched them.

This is more like it. By BigTimeTeez

I don’t recommend you wear this while driving.

If this came with the tie (and the dog), I might be tempted. Green doggie sweater by GrannysGiftsEU

If that dog had a middle finger, it would be up.

If you're worried that you'll get drunk and accidentally have sex with someone you shouldn't, this garment should protect your virtue. By ElanasFelting

If you’re worried that you’ll get carried away and end up having an amorous encounter with an Irishman, this garment should protect your virtue from all but blind suitors. Actually, it looks pretty itchy, so likely the sight-challenged will stay away, too.

Keeping it classy. By ZBasement

Keeping it classy.

I think it's finally time to put Granny in a home. By AvanteGarb

Say good bye to Grandma, sweetie. She’s going to go live with the nice people at Shady Acres.

Unknown's avatar

Author: Donna from One Beautiful Thing

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

21 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXXI: Green Day”

Leave a comment

  3. shawncarneyart's avatar
    shawncarneyart
    February 26, 2015 at 10:24 am

    i will only use underpants wallets from now on.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. LVital7019's avatar
    LVital7019
    February 26, 2015 at 10:26 am

    Laughing. My. ASS OFF! My condolences to the poor ginger kitty and the dog lacking use of a middle-finger. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Judy E Martin's avatar
    edwinasepisodes
    February 26, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    Ha HA HA! ‘The leprechaun looks like he has suffered a stroke’! Hilarious. What the hell was that vile green top thing that poor woman was wearing? Dear God, if that is what it takes to pull an Irishman, they must be easily pleased!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. spiritbabycomehome's avatar
    spiritbabycomehome
    February 26, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    My vote is on you getting the crochet hat and beard item and donning your most lewd green-and-blue eye shadow for the occasion this year. Don’t forget to take pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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