First of all, if you’re looking for something melodic and peaceful, I’m sorry. I know my music discovery Wednesdays are typically at least a little more, um, musical than this one.

Nonetheless, here comes “Bitch, I’m Madonna.” Indulge me for a minute. Part of the reason I’m posting this is that we’re going to Fire Island to whoop it up for the holiday weekend (as we do), and so I’m on the hunt for the songs that are going to absolutely pack the dance floor. There’s nothing more fun than a happy crowd at Cherry’s jumping around to whatever DJ Sue (Queen) Levine is dishing out.

Second, it’s Madonna. I don’t always like her, but I always love her. Can’t help it. I can’t quit her.

So why this video? Let me count the reasons: Chris Rock and Nicki Minaj. Kanye and Katy. Rita Ora, Beyonce, and a bunch of very talented people I can’t name.And La Madonna, bless her middle-aged heart, absolutely works her tiny tail off, and proves she’s still worth our adoration.

Is it great storytelling like “Papa Don’t Preach” or “Open Your Heart?” It is not. Is it stunning cinematography like “Vogue” and “Take a Bow?” Not really. Is it creative staging like “Human Nature?” Alas, no. Is it as adorably terrible as “Gimme Your Luvin” or as hilariously weird as “Bedtime Story?” I’m sorry to report it is not.

However, this video is not without its good points. It delivers the great fun of “Material Girl,” the ebullience of “Borderline,” and the power of “Die Another Day.” And, you know, I’m certainly going to be shaking my ass to it this weekend. So there’s that.

And since we could talk Madonna faves for days (and I can’t resist), here are my three top most loved videos. You’ve got to give her this much. She’s certainly never boring!