Etsomnia™ 91: Pirates’ Booty!

May 26, 2016 by Donna from MyOBT 26 Comments

Now here's something you don't see every day! Pirate chiminea by UniqueBurners

Now here’s something you don’t see every day! Amazing pirate chiminea by UniqueBurners

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

If you’re wondering why this week’s theme is pirates, there is no reason. I just felt like it. And I love nearly everything I found! Sure, the term “pirate” is pretty loosely thrown around on Etsy, encompassing everything from furniture to clothing to prayer candles to whatever this is. My biggest criticism of the pirate booty was that many of the prices are a bit ridiculous. And by a bit, I mean a lot. Of course, if your budget is more Smee than Hook, there are many awesome, more attainable, more reasonably-priced items, too. Predictably, though, it is really the pricey stuff that I love the best.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

This particular pirate seems a little anxious to get off the ship (and out of the costume). By PetKrewe, who also sells a cat version, but lost their nerve after the hat

Looks like this pirate has been smoking more than seaweed. By SacredCirclesArt

Look at those pupils! I think somebody may have sampled the mushrooms.

Even pirates are not so cool that they're immune to derpery. By CrescentAster

Even pirates are not so cool that they’re immune to (expensive) derpery.

Unbelievable pirate tree house. By TinyTownStudios

Unbelievablly fantastic pirate tree house. By TinyTownStudios whose work is so awesome, it might need its own post

Steampunk pirate angel lamp, perfect for your nightstand. Because there’s nothing like waking up to a lamp that makes you think you died in your sleep.

His mom is going to be so pissed when she finds out he made a “Playa” pirate coat out of her comforter. He might even get kicked out of the basement!

Looks like someone’s been hitting the 151 a little too hard.

Pirate-themed… wait for it… baptism set. You heard it here first. And, presumably, last.

Careful, girl. You know he’s known for chasing tail. By CrimsonMuse

Something funny and not homophobic. By KelseysCreationsShop

We all go through the phase when we fall for the bad boys. Luckily, these are just badly-dressed boys.

I don’t need it. I wouldn’t wear it. But I confess I am still enamored of it. By MorticiaSnow

Hey, gurl, HAAAY! By MeercoMeerschaum (P.S. This looks just like my neighbor. Hey, Gary, haaay!)

This gorgeous solid gold triple skull ring makes me want to be a pirate! By DeMerJewelry about whom I have waxed poetic before

This fabulous solid gold triple skull ring is so gorgeous it makes me reconsider a career in piracy! By DeMerJewelry about whom I have waxed poetic before