What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 124: Resort


Erm, nice pineapples?

Hope you like grilled pineapple, because this girl looks like she is going to buuuuurn.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Thank you for your patience last week. Etsomnia™ is back.

It’s January, and naturally, New Yorkers’ thought turn to beach vacations. Okay, to be perfectly honest, we’re mostly thrilled that holiday gridlock days are behind us, and we wish it would stop raining, but resort wear keeps coming up in my feed. And for once, it’s sort of relevant to me!

We are actually travelling to a (slightly) warmer clime in winter. I can hardly believe my luck! Sure, it’s Nashville, but that counts, right?

Beach vacations seem to give people the idea that terrible fashion is okay. It is not. In fact, vacations are used as an excuse for all kinds of nutty behavior. But who am I to judge? 48 hours from now, I’m going to be misbehaving in Tennessee!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!


There’s nothing as cool, comfortable, and confidence-boosting as a flattering, breezy beach dress! By JavaSpirit

I'm still standing...

I know this dance move

I had a hard time deciding whether these things were cool or not, but then I remembered how awful pantyhose are. Thumbs down.

I had a hard time deciding whether these things were cute or not, but then I remembered how how uncomfortable pantyhose are.

No, I don't want no scrubs....

No, I don’t want no scrubs….


I’m a sucker for boyshorts, and I love the pattern. I NEED THESE IN MY LIFE! By MessQueenNewYork

Less resort than halfway house.

I’m not seeing resort wear. I’m seeing first day of kindergarten.

Vacation granny pants. What will they think of next?

Tropical granny pants, for when you really, really, really don’t want to hook up on vacation.

Perfect if you're planning on spending your vacation in a K-hole.

Perfect if you’re planning on spending your vacation in a K-hole.

What fresh hell is this?

Looks like a brony wrestling costume.

For when you're vacationing with this guy.

Resort wear for this guy.

It burns...

Did you ever buy something like this on vacation, then it sits in your closet for years because you don’t know what to wear with it? TRY A BLINDFOLD.

Kaftans, not just for fat old ladies anymore! By MaisonMarrakech

Kaftans, definitely not just for 1970s gay men anymore! By MaisonMarrakech

Perfect for when you have planned a vacation here.

When my mother tried to educate me about sex, she never got past flowers. If she’d just glued them to a bikini, I think her message would have been much more clear.



Though it is described as a hula dress, I think they're getting their dances confused...

Though it is described as a hula dress, I think they’re getting their dances confused… (By the way, that search turned up some profoundly weird stuff.)

Perfect for when you're vacationing with your alternate personalities.

For when you’re spending spring break in a dystopian society.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

23 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 124: Resort

  1. Thanks, I needed that. The Bruno Tonioli sighting in the Elton John video was the Bailey’s in my coffee, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now that we are living in a dystopia, do we all need to start dressing like that? I loved the kaftan and beach dress. As a stubby chubby person, those are my kind of beach wear for public consumption. The cowboy boot flip flops made me snort with laughter. And now I have “I’m still standing” rattling around in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wear tights or pantyhose every damned day, so now I am dying to find those…..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ok…so, while I don’t know of any persons who would actually wear the dystopian future outfit…the photographer in me screams: WHAT A FANTASTIC SHOT!

    I needed the giggle/fashionpolice outrage/appreciation reflex mishmash today 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like the beach dress Donna and the rest is just too special for my taste 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can’t unsee the clog dancing and granny underwear.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. thanks for adding my beige Marrakech kaftan. Looks fab:)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Shopping Saturday: Stop and Stare | artfulblasphemy

  9. Great Job and Thank you. Love JS

    Liked by 1 person

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