Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Thank you for your patience last week. Etsomnia™ is back.

It’s January, and naturally, New Yorkers’ thought turn to beach vacations. Okay, to be perfectly honest, we’re mostly thrilled that holiday gridlock days are behind us, and we wish it would stop raining, but resort wear keeps coming up in my feed. And for once, it’s sort of relevant to me!

We are actually travelling to a (slightly) warmer clime in winter. I can hardly believe my luck! Sure, it’s Nashville, but that counts, right?

Beach vacations seem to give people the idea that terrible fashion is okay. It is not. In fact, vacations are used as an excuse for all kinds of nutty behavior. But who am I to judge? 48 hours from now, I’m going to be misbehaving in Tennessee!

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!