We interrupt your regularly-scheduled unthinkable news day for this nonsense. You’re welcome.

It’s unclear whether the current owner of this handsome Richmond, Texas, house used it as a home or as a creepy mannequin theme park, but either way, it’s not to be missed. Though a little reminiscent of the blog Terrible Real Estate Photos, the pictures really can’t be blamed on the poor realtor. She never had a chance.

“Unfortunately, the art goes with the artist.” -Realtor’s description of house (at least she kept her sense of humor)

Although the house listing has been viewed millions of times, it’s still on the market. Shocking! The police have even been called a few times to chase away strangers wanting to take pictures of the place.

“The comments on Facebook make you wonder why people waste so much time on negative stuff. Still, the response has been overwhelming,” said Diana Power, who presumably plans to spend her commission on therapy.

I was highly entertained thinking about what was going through the realtor’s mind as she toured the house for the first time. And can you imagine what the conversation was like when she got back to the office?  I thought today, we’d channel our inner realtor, and take a walk in her sensible heels.

All images are the property of RE/MAX Fine Properties, if you can imagine.

MANNEQUIN MADNESS

Approaching the driveway. Hmm. Is that a statue? No, I see now it’s a mannequin. How fun and quirky!

What a great house! It’s full of curb appeal. I’m sure I’ll have no trouble moving this one. The owner says she wants everything to remain as is for the photos and the showings, but judging by the outside, that’s not going to be a problem at all!

Heading into the foyer. Well, that’s sure a lot of stuff, but I’m sure buyers can look past it.

Now into the living room. Really, really, really a lot of stuff, but still, it’s got good bones. I’ll make it work…

Nice enough kitchen, but who is that sitting at the counter? Good grief, is that another mannequin? Maybe we could just put him in a closet somewhere… No? Are you sure? Okay, you’re the boss. I guess he’ll make an interesting conversation piece…

And now into the breakfast nook, complete with mannequin butler. Wait, is that thing watching me?

On into the library, and another mannequin, this one on the ceiling. And you’re sure, ma’am, we can’t put just a few of them away? No? Alright…
(The realtor’s description of the photo below included the gem “the bookcases would be hard to fill for most folks.” The poor lady was clearly getting a little desperate.)

Another ceiling mannequin, and this room has quite a bit of taxidermy, too. Is that a bear wearing a hat under the pool table? Maybe if we just dim the lights and show the house only at night… Nope. On second thought, I definitely don’t want to be here after dark.

Here’s the dining room. Another room, another mannequin. Shit, did that thing just move?

A mannequin in the bedroom, too? How creepy can you get?

Nope. I’m wrong. TWO mannequins in the bedroom. I wonder if I should text the office to let them know where I am… Oh, god, is that another half mannequin under that table?

A MANNEQUIN IN THE BATHROOM? Ma’am, I really think you’ll get a better price if you will just let me put them… Nope? You’re sure? (sigh)

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH…..

… And the attic room is presumably where they will find the poor realtor’s corpse, dismembered, stuffed, posed, and dressed in Jacklyn Smith for JCPenney stirrup pants from 1987.

I’m joking, of course. The “artist” doesn’t seem murdery at all. You can watch a video of her talking about her house and see some closeups of her inanimate friends here. Bless her heart.