
In this jacket’s defense, there were a lot of drugs around in the eighties. And the nineties weren’t much better.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Sometimes, creatively-worked denim can be a very good thing. Or not. Etsy, as usual, is a great source for both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes they’re trying too hard, sometimes not trying hard enough, but you can certainly count on Etsy makers to deliver the goods, and, of course, the bads!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Sure, the message is a little aggressive, but the pink and feathers totally soften it, don’t you think?

From the people who brought you this…

Here’s a handy place to keep your inhaler for when all those upcycled dust mites start getting to you.

Now, that’s the way to shred denim! By Endorphyn

Backwards denim wedding dress with matching gauntlets. Because Etsy.

Young lady, you are not leaving the house like that. You march straight back upstairs and change your clothes!

To misquote Tony the Tiger, who I presume was skinned to create this thing, “It’s Grrrrrross!”

While they’re a lot of look and not my best color, they’re still awesome. By ChadCherryClothing

I know of exactly one person who could wear these without looking like a tied-up rump roast, and she’s a size 00.

In a weird way, this is kind of useful. While it may nauseate you, at least you can throw up into it.

If you are this desperate for crotch attention, why stop there?

Little Kimmie Kardashian, age 3

These would be especially fun in the winter.

You can see this too, right?

I certainly couldn’t pull it off, but on the right tween… By MaliciousDesignsLA who sells many cute things

Even for Etsy, this one is a loser.

Because you definitely want boots that make it look like you just dropped trou in preparation for some public urination.

I’m just going to leave this right here. (It’s $4K, by the way.)
August 24, 2017 at 7:43 am
Maybe you could propose that ETSY split off into two groups: drunken what was I thinking ETSY and Upscale ETSY. You could be the gatekeeper–because they obviously need one.
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August 24, 2017 at 9:04 am
You’re sweet. Alas, the eye of the beholder will always get in the way.
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August 24, 2017 at 8:37 am
wow… Thanks for the smiles!
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August 24, 2017 at 9:04 am
I loved the comments under the picture as much as the picture in most of them. I might be gone for 8 weeks due to medical reasons but I will be back as fast as possible. My day starts right here.
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August 24, 2017 at 10:26 am
You’re very kind. I wish you good luck with your medical thing. I’ll be thinking about you while you’re gone. Sending you good thoughts and wishing you a very speedy recovery!
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August 24, 2017 at 11:46 am
That organic hemp blazer you linked to is nice. I like quite a few of her offerings and would love to see her bridal shop when it opens.
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August 24, 2017 at 8:55 pm
She’s very, very talented!
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August 24, 2017 at 10:20 pm
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that – in the majority of cases – the decent items were made from rolls of denim fabric while the dross was clearly upcycled. Too many folks trying to make denim silk purses out of sow ears.
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August 25, 2017 at 6:48 am
Beautifully said! You’re right, of course.
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August 26, 2017 at 6:28 am
Oh my…I don’t have words for a lot of this!! So glad you did though 🙂 🙂
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August 26, 2017 at 12:47 pm
If there’s one thing I have plenty of, it’s words!
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August 27, 2017 at 12:14 am
One hundred percent nope.
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August 27, 2017 at 2:20 pm
Hahahaha!
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November 10, 2017 at 4:00 pm
I want a denim sofa so bad – but you have convinced me not to try making one myself. 🙂
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November 10, 2017 at 4:03 pm
Go for it! If you have fun working on it, and you’re pleased with the results, it’s an automatic win. It’s just that this particular one looks lumpy and uncomfortable.
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November 10, 2017 at 4:04 pm
Mine would look like this one – I don’t sew 🙂
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