Materials: old lace, plastic bats, doily addiction, disembodied foot. This positively screams Pinterest fail!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
It will come as no surprise that I do some pretty weird Etsy searches to find the gems I lampoon every week for Etsomnia. But this week’s search was entirely innocuous. I thought October, so witches, right? My only search term was “witch.” I figured I’d find the usual mix of awesome and awful, of amazing and atrocious. I didn’t expect any big surprises. I should have known better.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
I was sure I would manage to break it immediately, but WalkingPottery assures me the mug is klutz-proof!
Q. Would you like some breakfast?
A. Definitely not.
This “art doll” looks like the before in a hair product commercial
I don’t know about where you live, but in NY, it would take about 2 seconds for someone to change that W to a B. By Rusticpalletshop1
I see what they were trying to do, but the Bob Hope nose effect just kind of ruins it
Rachel Ray’s Halloween recipe book is creating quite a stir
Ooooh! Yes, please! By kaylastojek
I have always loved witch balls, and this one by Route4glass is particularly lovely!
Poor Samantha. Not even Doctor Bombay could get rid of that stubborn boil on her cheek
You want to know where witches come from? Well, when a witch and a warlock love each other very much…
Halloween have you a little over-excited? These two ought to fix that, right quick!
While I greatly admire her, she too strongly resembles a judgy former neighbor of mine for comfort. By SoJoyStudios
I don’t know if I’d call it a witch costume, but I’m definitely afraid
Of all of the items I looked through doing research for this post, this is the one I think most likely to be able to cast spells. It certainly worked its magic on me! By SadirJewelry
It’s never too early to learn that armpit cleavage is unacceptable
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My OBT 
October 26, 2017 at 6:55 am
Your magic did work on me. Can’t stop laughing.
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October 26, 2017 at 8:25 am
Thank you!
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October 26, 2017 at 8:08 am
Thanks Donna, your a funny one LOL…
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October 26, 2017 at 8:25 am
You’re very kind!!
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October 26, 2017 at 10:06 am
oh my gosh–made my morning! Poor Samantha! I’m going to be thinking of this the next time I see a rerun of Bewitched…thanks for gathering. LOL
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October 26, 2017 at 11:06 am
Yes, Samantha’s having a rough time by the look of it.
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October 26, 2017 at 1:33 pm
WTF with the poop in the decorative glass bauble? Why would anyone think to do that? There were many contenders for most abysmal this year but that one was just so awful that it had to win straight out of the gate. I love the Tim Burton style shoes – though they would make me dizzy and break ankles – and the witch ball (especially since it is more shiny than my one).
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October 26, 2017 at 3:07 pm
It’s more shiny than mine, too! The shoes are off the hook, but man, that poop. The turd in the Halloween punchbowl, that one.
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