
That’s one way to get him to love you for your brains!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
While I was looking for last week’s cut up clothing, the brainy bustier above popped up on one of my searches, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. So I decided if I couldn’t beat ’em, I’d join ’em. It’s corset and bustier week!
The word corset is defined as “a woman’s tightly fitting undergarment extending from below the chest to the hips, worn to shape the figure,” but as usual, Etsy sellers defy definition. There were items with extra support and those with no support at all. I found pieces that were meant to dramatically change the wearer’s shape and some that were purely decorative. I found plenty of novelty items , bustiers, and corset-based items for unexpected parts of the body. Happily, I’ve always been a really big fan of bustiers and corsets and corselettes, so I found quite a bit to love!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

From the Tron boudoir collection

This claims to be tea-stained, but it looks more like tear-stained.

Gorgeous vintage-style made-to-order bustier. By SwellDameBoutique

Okay, yes, it’s a little awesome, but is anyone else getting angry snake?

At a loss for how to conceal your botched boob job? Etsy has you covered!

This pleated leather bustier with 3D printed sleeves is a bit out there, but OMG it’s fantastic! By BDodijewellery

Well, it is still Etsy, after all…

This knitted “corset” is definitely not going to hold anything in or push anything up, though it might push people away.

Love it, though it reminds me of this! By MorgothLab

Less bustier than just plain bust.

This is so gorgeous, it makes me want to run away and join the circus! By olgaitaly

What a shame! This looks like it was a really nice corset before someone started sticking shit to it.

I’m fairly certain this is NOT the right way to use recycling bags.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! By QuaintrelleCouture

The materials listed are latex and glass eyes. Because Etsy.

And speaking of eyes, is it my imagination, or are these following me?

Help! I think this one is watching me, too!

Now I’m just seeing faces everywhere!

Not exactly what people mean when they say they like to be tied up…

There has got to be a good reason for me to buy this… By JanesCorsets whose entire store made me go all tingly!

Places I don’t like to be itchy: a very short list… 1. Everywhere

Love it, but why isn’t it called “Getting Handsy?” By
louiseblack
May 17, 2018 at 8:53 am
Love the post and your commentary–still laughing. My colleagues must think I love my job on Thursday mornings the best. lol
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May 17, 2018 at 8:55 am
Hooray! How funny.
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May 17, 2018 at 9:39 am
I’m pretty sure that you need that one for the Mermaid Parade, don’t you?
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May 17, 2018 at 10:29 am
Erm… no?
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May 17, 2018 at 10:19 am
I laughed, I cringed, I imagined me wearing a few of these, and felt a bit queasy.
I guess there is a need for the fashion police after all, no?
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May 17, 2018 at 10:30 am
Very definitely!
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May 17, 2018 at 11:28 am
I love that last one… handsy 😂
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May 17, 2018 at 12:16 pm
Isn’t it clever? I’d wear that one for sure!
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May 17, 2018 at 11:33 am
The black glove thing… impressive
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May 17, 2018 at 12:17 pm
It really is!
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May 17, 2018 at 1:11 pm
I am most drawn to the scaly one and the one that looks like a frill necked dinosaur. Apparently I watched ‘V’ at a very formative age. I appreciate the structural engineering of a well-made corset but I could never wear one a) because I feel like socks are suffocating me so I would definitely wig out in a corset and b) what gets squeezed somewhere has to spill out somewhere else so I would look like a sausage splitting out of its skin or a herniated intestine.
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May 18, 2018 at 12:23 am
That really painted a picture. It’s uncanny how much our reactions line up sometimes. I have described myself as looking like links of sausage in certain outfits, corsets included.
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May 17, 2018 at 6:31 pm
The one made of leather gloves is GENIUS!!!!!
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May 18, 2018 at 12:24 am
Genius is 100% correct!
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May 17, 2018 at 8:24 pm
The dragon scalemail is awesome.
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May 18, 2018 at 12:25 am
That one is really gorgeous!
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May 18, 2018 at 7:05 am
Clearly it’s time to introduce you to cobra boobs 🙂

Alison
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May 18, 2018 at 8:21 am
Hahaha! I do like snakes….
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May 18, 2018 at 9:59 am
Oh my oh my! ❤
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July 21, 2018 at 4:45 am
Have you seen Grace Hornes work. Beautiful corsets and scissors
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July 22, 2018 at 11:28 am
I have not! I’ll check it out when I have a better connection
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July 22, 2018 at 2:34 pm
I checked out her work: http://www.gracehorne.co.uk/ Very nice. I’ll have one of everything!
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July 22, 2018 at 5:51 pm
Ooooooh! Just looked her up. Stunning!
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