This is listed as “outdoorsy.” I don’t know about that, but I agree that I wouldn’t want it inside my house.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
I pride myself on my Christmas stockings. I’ve made many of them over the years, and they’re pretty darned cute if I do say so myself. So I consider myself something of an expert on the subject. I am a true appreciator of the beautiful ones, and I can’t abide the ugly ones. As expected, Etsy is chock-a-block full of both.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
This looks to me like a Christmas quitter.
Love these mini gnome stockings by LeoDandyBooth!
You know those terrible/precious crafts your kids make you in school? Those are fine, but I draw the line at purchasing someone else’s.
This one can be customized to horrify anyone you want!
I’ve done a number of high-heeled stockings, and they’re hard to get right. GlendaOkievStevens has cracked the code!
While this is supposed to be Jason from Halloween, it looks more to me like a sloth. Either way, it’s a hard no.
I knew I could count on the cat people for a few doozies.
Absolutely amazing stocking by HeartfeltStockings, whose shop is full of wonders!
As if ugly Christmas sweaters weren’t bad enough, now we have to endure ugly Christmas sweater stockings.
Finally! A stocking that doubles as a bathmat!
Now that is talent! By HandMadeGiftsByDiana
Why is “primitive” so often code for “disgusting?”
These are absolutely adorable! By BHcraftsFairTrade
What kind of decor would go with a hairy leg in a sweatsock?
How fucked up is your anatomy that you think this is the shape of a foot?
Share:
My OBT 
December 13, 2018 at 7:47 am
LikeLike
December 13, 2018 at 12:42 pm
You find some great (you know what I mean…because some of these stockings aren’t great) stuff to showcase. It is your wit, however, that makes it perfect. When you wrote the comment about drawing the line at purchasing other’s badly made crafts I did a spit take.
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/ Happy Festivus….Happy Whatever you celebrate
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 13, 2018 at 1:17 pm
Thank you, doll! You’re so good for my ego… Happy/Merry to you, too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 13, 2018 at 2:52 pm
Now my kids’ stockings look so incredibly boring and blah compared to so many of these. I have envy and may need to upgrade stockings for next year. I am decidedly not envious of the primitive ones. Those look like rags a sasquatch wipes its arse on. And so many painfully amateurish crafts. And what is the Etsy obsession with making things out of discarded denim?
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 13, 2018 at 4:02 pm
I don’t know. I guess all that denim has to go somewhere…
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 13, 2018 at 3:43 pm
Some are good and some are very bad. We always used old fashioned cotton socks ( you probably can’t get them any more) because the “stockings” were hung .
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 13, 2018 at 4:04 pm
My mother’s early Christmas photos had she and her brother standing by the mantle on which was hung actual socks. When I was a kid, I always thought that was so funny. Dunce.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 13, 2018 at 9:17 pm
There is a lot of sadness here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2018 at 12:02 am
Don’t take it too much to heart. I suspect the makers are perfectly happy with their work.
LikeLike
December 14, 2018 at 1:04 pm
I don’t know, I kinda like the Christmas sweater stocking. 🙂
LikeLike
December 18, 2018 at 5:51 am
Wow. Just wow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 18, 2018 at 9:37 am
That sums it up rather nicely.
LikeLike
December 26, 2018 at 7:12 pm
I have especially missed the Etsomnia posts during my blog reading hiatus.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 26, 2018 at 10:21 pm
Hooray! That makes me very happy. Thank you!
LikeLike