The designer can call that a scarab all she wants. I’m a New Yorker, and I know a cockroach when I see one
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
“Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.” -Malcolm Forbes
It’s my 75th Etsomnia post! Since the traditional 75th anniversary gift is diamond, that is today’s theme.
Like most things, diamond jewelry runs the gamut from dreamy to derpy, from terrific to tragic, from gorgeous to goofy, and from luxury to lunacy, with a whole lot of just plain ugly in between. And Etsy’s got it all. Be warned; I really adore diamonds, so there’s quite a lot more to love than usual.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
Although it looks lovely, the suspiciously low price on this alleged 40-carat diamond tiara leads me to believe that these stones are closer to coal than to diamond.
Mid-prostate-exam Buddah.
Natural red diamond?!? Who knew this was a thing! So much better than canary! By DirectDiamonds who carries quite the spectrum.
While this is one of the worst things I’ve ever found on Etsy, I have to admit that “Diamond Diapers” is a pretty awesome band name.
If someone slapped you while wearing this, you’d likely end up in a coma.
As art, it’s stunning. Can’t see making holes in my jackets for it, but I would be happy to put it on display. By MiriamsEstateJewelry
For the woman with everything: a clown with kidney stones.
This is $47K worth of diamonds and rubies and gold. Why? Are rich people really this desperate for attention?
I have a pretty dim opinion of typical mom jewelry, but these engraved bars with colored diamonds are a big exception! By MetalPressions
Someone out there loves this awful frog in diamond cowboy boots. Not me, but someone
$3K worth of perfectly lovely gemstones down the drain. Well, that was an expensive failure.
I never really got how beautiful skulls could be in jewelry until I discovered AdamFosterJewelry
The description says these are angels, but that looks to me like someone squashed a bunch of fairies.
This stinks.
When thinking of pearl rings, the term badass doesn’t usually come to mind. DeMerJewelry proved me wrong
Another terrible waste of stones. At least he’s not pooping brown diamonds…
I can’t help it. This looks to me like a diamond emerging from an orifice.
[swoon] By ExoticGold
Really creative combination of lace agate, ruby, and diamond. By GemsJewelryNowThen
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My OBT 
January 28, 2016 at 9:10 am
These are some really cool pieces!
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January 28, 2016 at 10:36 am
I had the very best time looking for them, and, major personal victory, I BOUGHT NOTHING!
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January 28, 2016 at 10:40 am
Nothing? Wow you have willpower!
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January 28, 2016 at 11:40 am
What saved me is that most of it is miles out of my budget.
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January 28, 2016 at 11:02 am
I think my 7 year old friend had that fugly clown pendant back in the early ’80s. It was horrid then and it is horrid now. I rather like the cockroach but then I did have pet ones. The last piece featuring the agate appeals to me. You need to write a post on how to successfully culture and grow a money tree so that I can go on spending sprees after reading all your other posts.
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January 28, 2016 at 11:41 am
I know just what you mean. I promise if I find the secret, you’ll be the first to know!
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January 28, 2016 at 1:27 pm
Few nice things today and a lot, as I would not buy, even I found a money tree.
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January 28, 2016 at 1:55 pm
Yes, but those earrings . . .
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January 28, 2016 at 1:57 pm
😀
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January 28, 2016 at 3:42 pm
I love your captions. LOL!
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January 28, 2016 at 3:55 pm
Thank you! It’s the most fun I have all week.
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January 28, 2016 at 11:15 pm
The frog with diamond cowboy boots is just too too much. But I want the skunk.
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January 28, 2016 at 11:25 pm
I’m sure the skunk can be yours if you want it. I’m certainly not fighting you for it.
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January 28, 2016 at 11:34 pm
That makes us even because I don’t want those earrings. 🙂
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January 29, 2016 at 1:28 am
Deal!
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January 31, 2016 at 1:11 am
Squashed a bunch of fairies! :::snicker:::
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January 31, 2016 at 2:18 am
Did you ever see Terry Jones’s “Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book?” It’s awesome, and that’s kind of what that thing reminded me of.
http://www.amazon.com/Lady-Cottingtons-Pressed-Fairy-Book/dp/1857933362
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