What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 109: Crooked



Elephant Man party of one, your table is ready.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I was looking for an asymmetrical jacket (because they’re easy to take in) for work on Etsy last week (B.T.W., I found exactly what I wanted in my favorite Etsy designer’s shop, as usual!). While I was looking, some of the things that turned up went way beyond asymmetry. I really enjoy asymmetrical clothing when it’s clear that it’s deliberate. However, many of the items that appeared on my search ranged from crooked to tortured to just plain wrong.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

I have enough problems without a cardigan that makes me look like I have a hump.

I don't think I could pull it off, but isn't this fabulous? By AfricaApparel

I do not have the figure for the crop-top elements of this piece, but isn’t it fabulous? By AfricaApparel

Molly Ringwald just knew this year’s red carpet dress was going to be a hit. But then there she was, right at the top of Worst Dressed List. Again. Maybe it was finally time to stop making her gowns from old prom dresses.

I think in this case, the asymmetry might be with the wearer rather than the clothing.

I think in this case, the asymmetry might be more the wearer than the clothing.

Kludge, not just for computers anymore.

If this is what the apocalypse is going to look like, then bring it on! By MariaQueenMaria

If this is what the apocalypse is going to look like, I’m in! By MariaQueenMaria

Prince could absolutely have carried this off, but I assume he would have worn it without the chicken stuffed in the neck.

Look! It’s the famous vampire Nosferatutu!

This week on Hoarders; A woman who makes clothing out of her used tissues.

This week on Hoarders – people who wear clothing made of used tissues.

What on earth?

Nailed it.


Now, that’s a fun new use for moving blankets!

Yes, yes, yes!!! By ShaveliDesign

Very dramatic, but so delish! By ShaveliDesign

When you ask a girl to a family wedding and she shows up wearing the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree skirt sporting Sweeney Todd hair…

Symmetry is the least of this thing’s problems.

Looks like somebody may have doubled up on her meds this morning!

I can’t decide whether she’s a little teapot or a little crackpot.

The description calls this futuristic.

The description calls this futuristic.

Nuvaring; you’re doing it wrong. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that like Nuvaring, this thing also prevents pregnancy.

Ladylike and adorable! By ExlibrisClothing

Ladylike and adorable! By ExlibrisClothing

I would recommend a bleach-and-baking-soda soak, followed by a thorough dousing in lighter fluid. Then just add a light match, and voilà, problem solved!

This is a clear case of the blind sewing for the blind.

Anyone else think that's a dead bird embroidered on that tragic skirt?

Anyone else see a dead bird embroidered on that tragic skirt?

This was so very special, I needed you to see it from all sides. I’m honestly starting to think people are making this junk just so I’ll have something to talk about. Nobody could make this seriously, right?

This looks like an ad for depression medication.

This looks like an ad for depression medication.

Doesn't it seem like these sleeves should tie behind the jacket?

Just because you have to wear a straight jacket doesn’t mean you can’t dress it up a little!

From the new horror movie, Silence of the Lambskin. (“Can you hear the lambs screaming, Clarice?)

What the hell is she so happy about?

What the hell is she so happy about?

She seems very confident for someone wearing a dress made of napkins.

She seems awfully confident for someone wearing a dress embellished with dinner napkins.

This thing is a nip slip waiting to happen.

This thing is a nip slip waiting to happen.

 Reader caption time! 

Reader caption time! 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

22 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 109: Crooked

  1. Totally fascinating: not my style at all, but sometimes, by accident …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know…when you are cute, young and skinny…you can pretty much get away with anything….well, except for those sprocket dancers you always seem to find. Guys can’t pull it off like gals can. Btw, my favorite was the gals haircut in the little purple maroony shirt wrap thing. The one with the ladylike caption. I am a sucker for cute short haircuts. And, it is kinda asymmetrical, so it fits with her shirt.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Priscilla brought new meaning to the phrase “too much baggage.”

    I am going to have to re-arrange my life so that I have a reason to wear that peacock top. And the “queen of hearts” jacket. (Do you suppose the jacket comes with the butterflies? Now, that would be a statement piece.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG – no words for some of these… no… words!

    For my reader caption: “For when you go out to the SWANKY discount sushi-place – the ‘Just in Case’ pant”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Once again you’ve found a selection that’s polarized: the garments are either sublime or totally fecking hideous. There is no mediocre with asymmetrical clothing it seems. I’ve never been long and lean enough for that peacock piece but I loved it. I also loved a few other of your picks.

    Caption: “Taking incontinence pants to the max!”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow there is a name for excessive Etsy browsing? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


    Liked by 1 person

  8. SO many things I could say but I’ll just leave it at: They don’t wear shoes in the future?

    Liked by 1 person

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