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Etsomnia™ 135: Fascination

34 Comments

Not sure about the design, but the model is really selling the message.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

As is so often the source of inspiration for my weekly Etsomnia posts, I need something. This time, it’s a fascinator. We’re doing a sort of Stepford Wives thing (with a twist, of course) for a costume event. I’ve got my dress, I’ve got my crinoline, I’ve got my ladylike gloves and shoes, now I need the hat. Naturally, I’d go straight to Etsy, and of course, I found some stunning things and a whole lot of nope.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Uncertain whether it’s saying John Waters is shit or THE shit, but either way, it’s fantastic. By moviestarr, who also make the best birthday hats I’ve ever seen

If they’d called this dopey thing “Brain freeze,” I might have been tempted.

So modern and charming! By HatsByAgnieszka (You can check out all the beautiful hats on her site)

Perfect to whip out when your blind date turns out to be a dud.

Ridiculous, but at least it’s not as bad as this trend.

I need bug spray and a very large shoe.

I’m not sure I could pull it off, but it’s killer on her! By millistarr

I know what happens to you if you wear the red shirt, but what if it’s just a red hat?

That is a scary quantity of stuff on that hat. You’d need to be very strong of neck. And completely color blind. And all the other kinds of blind, too.

Very cute idea. Do you think they’d make me a thought bubble with curse words in it? By ADailyObsessionShop

If this were red, it would make a great a headache commercial.

Although I try to convince myself that I have this kind of life, I fear the truth is more like this… By IWantWhatsOnYourHead

Weed killer, please.

“Whimsical” power strip hat that once again makes me wonder what percentage of Etsy sellers use illegal substances.

I don’t know if I’d call it fascinating, but it sure is memorable.

I’m sure you’d be very popular if you wore this to your next disco party, but you’d get pretty sick of people asking you to spin all night.

At least this one looks like the prep time was fun…

“Gothic Gatspy Flapper Hat.” Of all those words, I’d agree only with “hat.” And I’m being generous.

These lovelies come a a lot of color combinations. By
MyArtDeco

Kristen Schaal has really got to get some sun.

Awkward, but at least the inspiration is clear.

 

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Author: Donna from One Beautiful Thing

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

34 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 135: Fascination

  1. robertamblog's avatar

    Oh my! And here I thought I was a trend setter with my costume jewelry collection from the 40’s and 50’s. Now I feel quite boring! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. scorchedeyebrowstudio's avatar

    A few years ago, an “art” group (ladies with large credit card limits who think Michael’s is THE BEST EVER) invited me (!) to one of their “classes” . . . they were going to make, and this is exactly what the invitation said, FASTENATERS. This post made me laugh even harder for stirring this memory. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anthony's avatar

    I was feeling a little blurry-eyed and waiting for my coffee. Now, I am awake with the caffeine. Once again you have entertained me in an area that I know nothing about–except for Pippa at the Royal Wedding.
    As for what you can and cannot pull off….Who’s kidding who? You’d rock that hat.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ann's avatar

    My eyes are still 😮

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ellie's avatar

    Please, please, please go with the flamingo. It’s perfect. Really.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. L. Stevens's avatar

    I actually am in love with that beetle hat 🖤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. saywhatumean2say's avatar

    Prep time was fun is a fascinator is just my cuppa…..well you know.
    ~~dru~~

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sherry Priest's avatar

    It’s a shame really. Some of these are such near misses. Or near something. I should take some classes and go back to making fascinators. By the way, I’m sending you a photo (on FB) of a flamingo hat that worked. And please send me a photo of your beautiful self as a Stepford wife.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sherry Priest's avatar

    Don’t remember where. I think it was before Boston. You were sweet to wear it. It was pretty amateurish. But your blog post today has inspired me.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Diane's avatar

    There are a couple of great things surrounded by a whole lot of WTF in this post!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. houstonphotojourney's avatar

    Gotta see you in your getup! That’s a heck of a collection! Love to see someone out and about wearing some of these!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Bruce Bryant-Scott's avatar

    When I see fascinators I think of scary clowns with strange hats, like this guy: http://www.puddlespityparty.com/ . Some of the fascinators are quite wonderful, and others should only be worn on Fifth Avenue for the Easter Parade. The one with the pig looks like it was designed by George Orwell.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Laura (PA Pict)'s avatar

    Ha! I actually thought that was Kristen Schaal before I read your comment. I have actually never worn a fascinator in my hair. I am not sure I could pull it off with my awful hair but I wish I had had the light bulb one for my cousin’s wedding as my “quirkiness” would have annoyed him even more than I managed to do that day. Some of these are very pretty and elegant though. And some are just heinous. What the heck is with the trend of dressing babies like vintage New Orleans hookers?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Karen's avatar

    So, what’s a fascinator?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. nextlevelmystery's avatar

    “Whimsical” power strip hat that once again makes me wonder what percentage of Etsy sellers use illegal substances. – Donna

    I applaude your ability to call it like you see it.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. trashonthemonocacy's avatar

    Those sorts of baby pictures are just eerie to me. Let’s put this cherub in lots of lace! She’ll look like a shrunken old woman! (Or a Benjamin Button ceramic doll?)

    Liked by 1 person

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