What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ 162: You’ve Got Mail


[insert deity here] bless us all, everyone! By sweetperversion

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

The holidays are the only time of year when I look forward to opening the mail. My people are creative and funny and have great taste, so the majority of the holiday cards we receive make me ooh and aah and hahaha. And I enjoy sending them as much as I do receiving them. I usually take at least a few weeks to plan and search for just the right thing. And sometimes, I even get ambitious and make my own. I write the cards, and Beloved addresses the envelopes. We have a list of about 100 households that get the first wave, then we end up sending out about 20 or so retaliatory cards (A card from my first grade teacher? How did she even get my address?). However, Beloved and I discussed it, and we’re giving it a miss this year. We’re still not home, and I left my holiday card list in the house thinking we’d be home (“5 months” they said. “You’ll be home by August,” they said.). It’s just too much to manage between the teensy apartment and our ridiculous schedule. This decision filled me with equal parts relief and guilt. So in lieu of sending cards, I thought I’d instead show you some of the hysterical offerings available on Etsy!

No criticism this week. I found so many wonderful things, it’s all just hilarious cards by clever makers. Take it away, funny people!

WARNING: this post is full of irreverent (read: sacrilegious) humor and bad words. If that’s not your thing, go read this instead.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

That Max is a real asshole. By RowHouse14

And here I thought it was Gelt that the Chosen People enjoyed at the holidays. By FINCHandHARE

That’s hitting a little close to home. By PinkOrchidInvites

They make a good point. Why is there candy shaped like a cane? By AZillionDollars

Love this one! By 518Shipp

Beyoncé-approved. By LoudhouseCreative

There’s nothing like a good 80s reference! By SpicyCards

Cat litter snow drift is a pretty boss band name. By fuffernutter

My thoughts exactly! By ModernPrintedMatter

I see what you did there! By clarecorfieldcarr

Indeed! By TinyForgetMeNots

I would howl if I got this one! By CrimsonandCloverGift

Rude. I like it! By PaperbirdDesignUK

If you insist… By DarkroomandDearly

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

18 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ 162: You’ve Got Mail

  1. Laughing… What a great way to start the day! Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t really like this but I do like that you spend so much time to entertain us on this blog. some people have twisted minds and don’t mind showing it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Perfect timing – I was just deciding that, yes, I SHOULD send out some cards this year. But not 100 – geez, who sends 100 holiday cards? ( :

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Every year I think about sending out cards…this year, it didn’t even cross my mind. OOOOps.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another post that had me spitting out my coffee and dying laughing! Thanks for the humor 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Absolutely Fabulous!! Hey that would make a good card also!! Thank you for the laughs….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha ha ha! There are some cracking jokes in here. I would be tempted to purchase a couple for some special people who would appreciate the humour. However, when we emigrated, we decided that the cost of international postage was too prohibitive for sending out holiday cards, especially since a proportion of them never made it to their destination on time and some of those never arrived at all. We, therefore, now take what would have been spent on cards and postage and instead donate it to charity each year. This year I donated it to Puerto Rico.

    Liked by 1 person

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