When the wind kicks up on the ferry landing, I might consider this.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Last week, our New York temperatures reached the single digits, which I thought was unspeakably awful until I heard about poor Chicago. No matter how sorry for yourself you’re feeling, somebody’s always got it worse. Why is winter so terrible? Anyway, it seemed like a good opportunity to explore Etsy’s cold-weather gear. Stay warm, my people!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Cute, right? I thought so too, UNTIL I READ THEY’RE MADE OF DOG HAIR.
Felted boots, because even clowns get cold.
It looks like she’s wearing a half-full leaf bag, but if it were warm enough, I’d probably wear it.
I would have been so glad to have this baby carrier winter coat (with bunny ears) during the baby years! By Fun2BEmum
Sometimes, cold people make desperate choices.
This style is described as “lumbersexual.” So now that’s a thing.
While I certainly couldn’t pull it off (for that matter, I also couldn’t pull it ON), isn’t this sexy? By Lelena211
I’m pretty sure I had this outfit in the eighties. He wore it better.
Stop the senseless killing of Muppets for fashion…
I’m not much of a mittens girl, but these are pretty cute! By Babaabaxsheep
I am both repulsed and envious. That looks very warm. Like wearing someone else’s dreadlocks.
You know, they could be the warmest pants in the world, but without a shirt and shoes, you’re still going to be cold.
OMG so cute! By Aakasha
I couldn’t wear this. I’d be too afraid I’d roast.
Behold the Siberian thong.
February 7, 2019 at 12:26 pm
Please post links for everything! The crazy bunny cap
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February 7, 2019 at 3:17 pm
I only post (and retain) links to items about which I am waxing poetic. I don’t like to discourage makers, so when I find an item about which I am making a joke, I leave off the maker’s name. In other words, I don’t know who made the cap.
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February 7, 2019 at 7:58 pm
I found it (remarkably!) on Etsy. The search term is “BAT BALACLAVA”. It’s actually perfect for my sister, except I’m not spending $75 for it.
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February 8, 2019 at 1:23 am
I’m so glad you found it!
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February 7, 2019 at 1:18 pm
I definitely could have made good use out of that baby carrier jacket back in the day but otherwise there is nothing in this week’s collection that I would have even considered buying. That’s unusual for an Etsomnia post as there is usually something that appeals on some level. Partial nudity is a weird way to advertise salopettes but the itchy, sweaty, woollen diaper knickers are definitely the worst item this edition.
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February 7, 2019 at 3:18 pm
Aren’t they terrible? Mohair underwear. How cold do you have to be to consider mohair underwear? (Also the item title included the word thong, which made me laugh hard.)
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February 7, 2019 at 4:05 pm
Surely a mohair thong would just be one single strand of fuzzy yarn crammed between the arse cheeks.
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February 7, 2019 at 4:10 pm
(judder)
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February 7, 2019 at 1:34 pm
All I can say is…. https://youtu.be/WLE_Bat40-E
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February 7, 2019 at 3:20 pm
Sing along if you know the words…
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February 7, 2019 at 2:32 pm
Sweetie, you were quick to dis the dog hair (known as chiengora in fibre circles)! It’s one of the warmest fibres around, soft and fluffy when it’s from a dog with a heavy undercoat. If the hair is washed properly before it’s spun into yarn, the finished garment doesn’t carry a dog smell even when wet. The fibre is taken from brushings – no dogs are ever harmed in the process. I have three pairs of gloves made from chiengora given by Silas, a goofy Golden who’s now gone, and it’s like he’s still cuddling me every time I wear them. And I get all kinds of (favourable) comments – people are surprised, but never repulsed, when I tell them the story.
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February 7, 2019 at 3:24 pm
I’m desperately allergic, so making something out of dog hair sounds like a recipe for disaster for me. (Wool also gives me an instant rash, so I can imagine what dog hair would do to me.) Your story about Silas is very sweet, though.
I guess it’s no stranger than any other fiber. It just makes me itchy to think about.
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February 8, 2019 at 1:53 pm
Ah, too bad . . . I was going to offer to make you a pair of chiengora gloves!
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February 8, 2019 at 3:12 pm
That’s kind. Thank you for the thought!
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February 7, 2019 at 8:25 pm
Well, I was going to go off on the Siberian thong, but you and Laura covered it nicely . . . so to speak.
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February 8, 2019 at 1:24 am
Places you can’t scratch…,
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