
No, I’m not going to gobble your drumstick. Stop asking.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Today is my 1,500th blog post! I am truly grateful for all the wonderful things the blog has brought me. It’s given me a way of reducing my stress (most of the time), it’s become a real source of pride for me, and it’s brought me all of you lovelies!
So since gratitude is on my mind and Thanksgiving is next week, I thought the holiday was just the theme for today. If you read Etsomnia on a regular basis, you already know that autumnal colors aren’t really my thing. I find most greens and golds and browns and oranges unappealing, so this time of year is a little extra rough on my delicate (!) sensibilities. Fall has long been used as an excuse for people to decorate their houses and themselves with ugly things, but as bad as the fall-inspired stuff is, once you add in Thanksgiving, it all gets so much worse.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Look, I know they ruined your figure and your social life, but It’s not their fault. Don’t put this shit on your baby’s head.

Just please tell me the pie’s not in there, too. By zoeysattic

Sometimes, it’s not a total mystery why your cousin is single. Just sayin’

I’m thankful that this thing doesn’t know where I live. I hope.

Now this is adorable! By Zizibespoke

Thanksgiving is NOT an excuse to dress your child like your maiden hoarder aunt

Pilgrim life was hard. And ugly. Mostly ugly.

If I must succumb to fall, this is the way to do it. By ChatterBlossom

Thanksgiving tutu dress FOR ADULTS

Pillowcase. Note the lower right corner…

I love leg day. By BirchBearCo

Thanksgiving fascinator so bad, I think it would actually put me off my feed

$999. Seriously.


November 16, 2017 at 8:10 am
Oh good grief …is all I can say. The leaf head thing isn’t too bad.
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November 16, 2017 at 9:02 am
I quite like that! My mother showed me a photo of her at a toga party in college in the early 50s. She had a comb just like this one (and a toga that came up to her chin and down to the floor!)
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November 16, 2017 at 9:18 am
As I work on items for my soon to be Etsy store, I sincerely pray I never turn up on your blog. And if I do, shame on me!
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November 16, 2017 at 9:50 am
I’d never criticize a friend! Whatcha makin?
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November 16, 2017 at 3:37 pm
Crochet home decor with commercial and handmade yarn. I literally start from the wool, make the yarn then make stuff. I’ll let you know when I’m up and running.
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November 16, 2017 at 4:11 pm
Wow! That sounds impressive. I wish you many happy making hours and good luck!
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November 16, 2017 at 9:27 am
oh my! I now have new Thanksgiving memories. As always, love your commentary. And the leaf head comb is very cool–love her hair style also–perfect for wearing it. Congratulations on the big 1500!
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November 16, 2017 at 9:51 am
Thank you for the congrats! New Thanksgiving memories. LOL!
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November 16, 2017 at 9:32 am
In that top picture I thought it was some kind of pokemon character sitting on her lady bits. It wasn’t until I saw your caption I realized it was supposed to be a knit turkey G string! LOL
If I could give anyone a blue ribbon for the most consistently hilarious captions Donna, it would be you.
PS My husband and I have been laughing about “zombie plants” (Living Wall post) for days. 😀
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November 16, 2017 at 9:52 am
I think it’s actually meant to be a D-string (which term I just made up but which should totally be a thing). I’m glad the zombie plants are entertaining you!
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November 16, 2017 at 10:09 am
Congrats on 1,500! That is truly remarkable – every single day for 1,500 days. Thank you for spreading so much beauty! And thanks, too, for this weekly fest of awful – with some gorgeous gems mixed in – that is Etsomnia. My mind nearly explodes trying to imagine the people who make and buy some of this stuff.
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November 16, 2017 at 4:10 pm
I know, but I don’t want them to stop. I enjoy the wild diversity that is Etsy!
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November 16, 2017 at 11:44 am
Congrats and keep’em coming!
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November 16, 2017 at 4:10 pm
Thank you! That’s definitely the plan.
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November 16, 2017 at 2:16 pm
Congrats, Donna. I look forward to your Etsomnia giggles every Thursday, and all manner of unexpected beauty the other six days of the week. 1500 and counting!
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November 16, 2017 at 2:23 pm
Congratulations on the posting milestone!
I have been making Thanksgiving crafts all week with my preschool class and I am now pretty much allergic to anything twee or cutesy to do with the holiday. Happily, your post is devoid of anything twee and cute. The headband is pretty – though I would not wear it – but none of the rest of it holds any appeal. How utterly lazy is that lamp? The maker has not even put effort into making their handwriting neat and uniform.
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November 16, 2017 at 4:11 pm
I thought it was a little hysterical. And the price? It’s clearly a joke, but they’re paying actual money to keep it up there. Nuts.
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November 16, 2017 at 7:56 pm
That dress is divine! That lamp is WTF?
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November 19, 2017 at 4:26 pm
That dress is adorable!
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November 19, 2017 at 5:40 pm
It’s gorgeous. Wish I had the figure for it.
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