Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Over the years, I have noticed that a surprising number of my searches have turned up really fantastic cross stitch items. Among the fiber “arts”(sorry, couldn’t help myself), I would never have thought that cross stitch would include so many (hilariously) badass items. I found excellent (and terrible) gifts for new babies, engagements, and every other occasion you can think of.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Baby geeky goodness! By CrazzzyStitch
“Unique first anniversary gift.” I assume that means you won’t need a second anniversary gift.
That’s just mean.
These patterns are so lovely, I might actually need to give cross stitch a try! By NikkiPattern
What kind of decor would this go with, exactly?
Under the circumstances, I guess asking them to say please would be unwise.
Seems like a reasonable request.
LOL! By SubversiveOriginals
I’m not 100% sure it belongs in this post, but when this customizable eyeball pincushion turned up, I couldn’t keep it to myself! Eeew/yay! By VeryBigJen
Rude, yes, but I do like tequila.
Watercolor as cross stitch. Amazing! By WellStitches
I’m over 50. My tits are much calmer than this.
“Perfect for couples.” Couples you hate, maybe.
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My OBT 
September 27, 2018 at 8:46 am
You just have to wonder what makes someone offer some of these.
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September 27, 2018 at 8:47 am
Wondering what is in Etsy makers’ minds occupies a shocking amount of my time. Thank you for sharing the burden!
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September 27, 2018 at 11:23 am
That watercolor is very interesting. Abstract cross stitch–who would have thought. 🙂 Those pigs are rather frightening…
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September 27, 2018 at 12:05 pm
The pigs are nightmarish! I thought the abstract was so interesting. Go, Etsy!
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September 27, 2018 at 1:10 pm
Some of these are gorgeous. I especially love the watercolour one and the rainbow ones set against black. I did cross stitch for a while in my early teens but I could never get the hang of it enough for it to be relaxing for me. I would be all over some of these, however, if they were finished and not just kits.
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September 27, 2018 at 1:10 pm
I’ve never tried cross stitch, but I’m considering getting something by the watercolor seller. I really love their designs!
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September 27, 2018 at 6:44 pm
I did needlepoint many years ago, and these make me want to take it up again. Except for the fact that I just ended up with a bunch of finished (or half-finished) canvases floating around and had no idea what to do with them.
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September 27, 2018 at 7:48 pm
Hmm. That’s my worry, too. Also, I can’t see. Hmm.
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October 19, 2018 at 9:28 am
Neither can any of us older needleworkers see…ugh, the bane of aging eyes. They make lighted magnifiers that are a godsend…some are floor standing, some clip onto your hoop, some you can wear like glasses, some rest in a needlework stand (the stand has a clamp which holds your hoop). Don’t let being half blind stop you from stitching! 🙂
https://www.cross-stitch-corner.de/en/Lamps-Magnifiers/Lamps-with-an-Magnifier/4-in-1-LED-Lamp-Magnifier.html#&gid=1&pid=1
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October 19, 2018 at 2:02 pm
That’s great to know! Must get myself one
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September 28, 2018 at 4:52 pm
When my husband suggests an activity to me that I really don’t want to do, I say, “I’d rather stick needles in my eye.” Ooo, for $12, I really can!
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September 28, 2018 at 9:02 pm
And they’re oddly cute!
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October 26, 2018 at 8:00 pm
I would like the pigs more – if you could put the faces of people you know in them……..
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October 26, 2018 at 11:50 pm
What a great idea!!!
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