Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Hope everyone is having a happy holiday season! This should put an end to that. (Sorry/not sorry.) Today, we’re looking at some of the more unfortunate Christmas ornament and decor offerings on Etsy, and let me tell you, there were a lot of contenders! Animals seemed to be involved in some of the odder ornament choices, though babies, angels, and teeth were also heavily featured.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Fellow blogger Alison sent me this festive gem, and it inspired today’s post! Hey, look! It’s Carl… of the Bells!Too farI grew up with a fake Christmas tree (which is why I will never use one again), but this would definitely have helped. By ChristmasTreeHuggerOh, deer…I knew someone who looked just like this! Not the face so much, but definitely the cupcake body.Black rat in Candyland. How festive!For the person who has everything: a “tree fascinator.”Just hilarious! By WoolgatheringJoSage advice…Nothing to see here. Just your traditional Karl Malden angel with pentagram.I was alarmed until I realized this refers to the video game Oregon Trail. Then I was just depressed.I shudder to think how this thing came about…The search term taxidermy ornament turned up some, er, unexpected results.Unacceptable.Who knew angels came in Super Plus!
These offerings are all hilariously hideous except for the fake bark for the artificial tree. That is actually pretty genius and, as someone who has a fake tree (allergies) I might just have to investigate that further.
They are all so odd. Is the animal in the top photo a hippo, lol. This post is an example of why I could never sell anything on Etsy–it would end up looking like the tree fascinator and my friends and family would not be truthful with me about my artistic talents.
I honestly think the tree fascinator is kind of adorable in a hilariously odd kind of way. I would think Etsy’s weirder items would give you courage to let your freak flag fly!
Poor cats…the butt of so many of these things. Well, there is pear-shaped, and instead of apple-shaped, we’ll just call it cupcake-shaped. So much better.
I was suitably appalled by them all (except the cat butt which I love) – but it wasn’t me who sent the festive croc 😂 Thanks for the mention though.
Alison
My sister and I hit some of Austin’s best vintage/thrift stores today and saw some rather horrific things. Yet the only thing I photographed was not a Christmas ornament, but something I saw that I knew you need to see. Text photo coming tomorrow; you’ve been warned.
December 16, 2021 at 6:48 am
As usual, Etsomnia is shockingly hilarious. The cat in the tree should go viral though!
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December 17, 2021 at 10:19 am
I truly love that one!
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December 16, 2021 at 7:37 am
These offerings are all hilariously hideous except for the fake bark for the artificial tree. That is actually pretty genius and, as someone who has a fake tree (allergies) I might just have to investigate that further.
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December 17, 2021 at 10:24 am
I thought that was a pretty great idea! As I said, I couldn’t abide the idea of a fake pine tree, but this year, we succumbed to the lure of a pre-lit white birch. At least the cat can’t get at my ornaments!https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10225802974676575&set=a.1377412870868
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December 17, 2021 at 2:06 pm
It looks beautiful!
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December 17, 2021 at 2:21 pm
I’m pleased, plus no needles and Herself can’t f**k it up!
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December 16, 2021 at 8:49 am
I just LOL’D at the “Super Plus” angel. You are a genius!
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December 17, 2021 at 10:24 am
If only I could use my powers for good…
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December 16, 2021 at 9:34 am
I must admit that I did laugh at a few of them. None of them would ever be in my house, even if Walmart sold them. 🙂 Hal
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December 16, 2021 at 12:09 pm
I might have to check out Wal-Mart for you, Hal. 😉 Act surprised!!
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December 17, 2021 at 10:28 am
OMG, I want to watch that show!
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December 17, 2021 at 10:25 am
LOL. You’re funny!
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December 16, 2021 at 10:34 am
We are all different but some of us are really strange.
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December 16, 2021 at 10:50 am
The older we get the stranger we become. 81 years — Hal
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December 17, 2021 at 10:25 am
I’m working my way up to full-bird crazy!
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December 17, 2021 at 10:25 am
I keep wishing you and my mother could meet. She would have loved you!
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December 16, 2021 at 11:57 am
They are all so odd. Is the animal in the top photo a hippo, lol. This post is an example of why I could never sell anything on Etsy–it would end up looking like the tree fascinator and my friends and family would not be truthful with me about my artistic talents.
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 17, 2021 at 10:27 am
I honestly think the tree fascinator is kind of adorable in a hilariously odd kind of way. I would think Etsy’s weirder items would give you courage to let your freak flag fly!
LikeLike
December 16, 2021 at 12:08 pm
Poor cats…the butt of so many of these things. Well, there is pear-shaped, and instead of apple-shaped, we’ll just call it cupcake-shaped. So much better.
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 17, 2021 at 10:27 am
I love dogs, but I am 100% cat person. The teasing is meant with love…
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December 16, 2021 at 9:22 pm
I was suitably appalled by them all (except the cat butt which I love) – but it wasn’t me who sent the festive croc 😂 Thanks for the mention though.
Alison
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December 17, 2021 at 10:28 am
Huh! I wonder who it was!
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December 17, 2021 at 1:42 am
My sister and I hit some of Austin’s best vintage/thrift stores today and saw some rather horrific things. Yet the only thing I photographed was not a Christmas ornament, but something I saw that I knew you need to see. Text photo coming tomorrow; you’ve been warned.
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 17, 2021 at 10:28 am
OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!!
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December 19, 2021 at 10:38 am
Absolutely hilarious, thanks for that!
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December 20, 2021 at 9:23 pm
So glad you liked it!
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