All the single babies, all the single babies!
UglyRenaissanceBabies.tumblr.com
DISCLAIMER: Today’s post isn’t for anyone who likes babies, Catholics, art, breastfeeding, or Jesus. It’s also not recommended for children, adults, the overly-sensitive, religious people, or anyone with eyes.
I stumbled upon the Tumblr Ugly Renaissance Babies totally by accident, and then fell down a deep, dark, hilarious, very wrong rabbit hole. I’m not going to explain. I’m just going to show you the cleaner ones that made me howl. It’s up to you whether or not you go exploring the rabbit hole yourself. Just don’t do it at work.
NOTE: Although I’d love to take credit, all the brilliant captions are from Ugly Renaissance Babies!
HAY GUISE LOL WATS UP.
America’s Next Top Cherub
Oh God oh god oh god. Her hand.
Madonna and Child of the C-Cups
wow. such christ. very paint. awesom.
Real talk: deep down, we all know these babies probably had it coming. Babies can be real dickholes sometimes.
Our Heavenly Father of the Steve Buscemi Eyes
Jesus Hydrocephalitic Christ! (At least now we know what the H. stands for!)
THIS IS NOT HOW BOOBS WORK.
Call me Benjamin Button one more time and I’ll make you turn the other cheek.
Toddlers in Tiaras: Renaissance Edition
Alright, the Madonna definitely made that apple into a bong.
Sip sip sippin’ on gin and juice
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. (So weirdly modern-looking, I decided it needed attribution: By Master of the Kress Epiphany, The Expulsion of the Money-Changers (detail), around 1480-1500)
Oh, fuck. Sky babies.
Is Jesus Christ gonna have to choke a bitch?
Mary really let herself go after immaculately conceiving, I guess.
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My OBT 
January 31, 2016 at 9:17 am
Omg The Steve Buschemi eyes, and That’s Not How Boobs Work!
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January 31, 2016 at 9:50 am
Too funny!
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January 31, 2016 at 9:23 am
lol wayne brady
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January 31, 2016 at 11:12 am
Wayne Brady? I must have missed that one!
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January 31, 2016 at 4:09 pm
the second to last one, a dave chappelle reference ^^
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January 31, 2016 at 4:13 pm
I didn’t catch that! Awesome!
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January 31, 2016 at 10:56 am
wow….the baby-wearing Madonna with Gollum Jesus is hysterical!
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January 31, 2016 at 11:11 am
They all just destroyed me!
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January 31, 2016 at 11:01 am
The Gollum! The boob growing out of a shoulder?! All bizarre and funny/weird!!! Great curating job, Donna!
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January 31, 2016 at 11:12 am
I finally had to cut myself off. These are some really funny people!
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January 31, 2016 at 11:22 am
ROFL – good work.
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January 31, 2016 at 11:41 am
They really are clever, aren’t they? Why can’t that be my job?
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January 31, 2016 at 3:37 pm
If only I could unsee these. Nightmares tonight. I should have taken the disclaimer seriously. Curiosity killed the cat.
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January 31, 2016 at 4:12 pm
Sorry/not sorry. (I hate to suffer alone)
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January 31, 2016 at 5:14 pm
My husband and I totally guffawed our way through these. They reminded me of a time in a Belgian church where I had to make a quick exit because I was about to explode from trying to stifle giggles over some ecclesiastical triptych. Clearly there is a rich seam of comedy in these grotesque paintings.
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January 31, 2016 at 5:57 pm
I’ve been asked to leave churches for similar reasons. Yay, us!
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February 2, 2016 at 3:21 am
Donna, I just love your posts! You make me smile every time. WHERE do you find this stuff??? 🙂
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February 2, 2016 at 10:02 am
I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you . . .
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February 5, 2016 at 2:04 am
LOL I would hate for that to happen!
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February 2, 2016 at 10:03 am
Thanks very much!
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February 3, 2016 at 9:03 pm
That last one tho? what the hell?? Ha ha ha, fabulous stuff. I’m with Andrea on the nightmares….crazy! I’ll be screaming in my sleep running from scary babies. Good work Donna.
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February 3, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Thank you. I try. . .
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