My OBT

My daily quest for One Beautiful Thing (OBT)

Etsomnia™ Volume 67: Happy Horrid-Days

18 Comments

Super-absorbent Lightdays® Christmas tree – now with wings!

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and it is no longer reasonable for me to grumble about holiday decorations. But even if it’s no longer calendar-appropriate for me to mutter about the timing of the decorations, I can at least get my snark on about the parade of holiday horribles that’s currently stinking up Etsy.

When I looked for holiday decorations on Etsy, I found everything from Christmas cornholes to penguins with yarmulkes to this thing. I really suffered for this one. I had to power through an awful lot of disturbing stuff like dolls and elves and deformed angels and  other crap in order to find the real Etsy gold. You’re welcome.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!

Why the hell is his tongue out? Bad Santa! Bad! By LittleLulusGifts

Why the hell is his tongue out? Bad Santa! Bad!

Very Christmassy zombie tree topper. Classic Etsy. Love it. By TheManiacalMenagerie

I can always count on Etsy to deliver. Get a load of this very festive zombie tree topper.

Tree topper possibly made of toilet paper and tampons. By Artlandish

And here’s another elegant angel tree topper, possibly made of toilet paper and tampons. Do I detect a theme developing?

If this is what the stockings look like, I hope they are hung until dead. By SippingIcedTea

If that is what the stockings looked like, they probably hung themselves

I would only buy these flower pot decorations if they read "Fork you." By VintageGardenArt

I would only buy these flower pot decorations if they read “Fork you”

Dear Texas, Yes, we all know how much you love your guns. But even you have to admit this is going too far. Cut it out. By SouthernHomeArt

Okay, Texas. We all know how much you love your guns. But even you have to admit this is going too far. Cut it out

What is Santa doing to that reindeer?!?

In case it's not clear, this is a Folk Art French Bulldog Ooak Christmas Ornament. By DollThreadsandClay

Really unfortunate-looking, possibly diseased French Bulldog Christmas Ornament

This very classy Christmas ornament is called "Pooh-dolph." By TheHumblebeeCompany

This very classy Christmas ornament is called “Pooh-dolph”

Kids, you'd better behave, or unibrow Krampus will come for you. By BMoreOddball

Kids, you’d better behave, or unibrow Krampus will come for you

You'd definitely be the first one on the block to own one. "Elegant, Stylish Wall Floral Arrangement" by CatskillsTreasure

Rest assured that you’ll be the first one on the block to own this “Elegant, Stylish Wall Floral Arrangement”

Love angels? Well, this ought to cure that. By DovileDolldeco

Love angels? Well, this ought to cure that

Here's a fun addition to your holiday decor: a wreath made of finger bones! By TheSecretGardenn

Here’s a fun addition to your holiday decor: a wreath made of finger bones!

Barbie toilet roll cover, because that's definitely a thing. By BlueLady540

Barbie toilet roll cover, because that’s definitely a thing

As icky as the toilet Barbie is, I'd take her over Deliverance Elf any day. By FriendsofSanta

As icky as the toilet Barbie is, I’d take her over Deliverance Elf any day

In case you ever wondered what Danny DeVito would look like as an actual penguin. By SleepySheepStudios

Not Danny DeVito’s usual penguin costume

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

18 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume 67: Happy Horrid-Days

  1. Ha! The French Bulldog ornamentis looks like it has a pile of poop on his head.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Etsomnia was well worth the wait…I’m still laughing at Pooh-Dolph (I’m easily amused).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, Etsy. It never disappoints, but I’m proud to say it really came through in the clutch this time. Who knew there were so many inappropriate Christmas-themed bathroom decorations to be found in the bowels of that site? You dug for gold, and it really panned out. Sure, some of the decorations were shitty, but one man’s trash…

    I’ll stop.

    After I share this.

    https://www.etsy.com/listing/247707973/stink-stank-stunk-embroidered-toilet?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=christmas%20bathroom%20decorations&ref=sr_gallery_12

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Really an awful collection Donna 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m married to someone who would LOVE the shotgun shell wreath. I am not going to tell him about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have also seen an olive picker made from a fork. Only 1 prong uncurled. It looks like the single-fingered salute. Guess which one?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So here I sit reading this on my laptop with my cat on my lap . . . and I snorted so loudly at your “What is Santa doing to that reindeer . . .” comment that he (the cat) jumped about a foot off my lap.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I kind of like the zombie tree topper. And those angels look a bit like zombies too. Perhaps a zombie theme this year?!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Etsomnia™ 162: You’ve Got Mail | My OBT

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