Unicorns, now with more dildo.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
If a teardrop tattoo means that you murdered someone, I shudder to think what a teardrop on the seat of your pants would mean…
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
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BlamoToys
Jesse Newton
I need something funny. Do you need something funny? Good. Here it is.
Maybe funny is the wrong word. It’s only funny to me because it didn’t happen to me. Let’s just call it entertaining with a happy ending. (No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter. Honestly, you people…)
So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It’s taken me until now to wrap my head around it…
Posted by Jesse Newton on Tuesday, August 9, 2016
The twins looked at each other in horror. She wanted to put her feet WHERE?!?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
I can’t decide. Do you think wearing this barrette would discourage subway frottage, or attract it?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
These super-stylish pants are made of 100% nope.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading
$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading
This listing is called “Hair ball by famous artist.” I think maybe they should define “famous,” and, for that matter, “artist.”
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Jewish mothers are a special kind of funny. Continue reading
America’s Got Talent (and tape!)
The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. They forgot to mention the main material, ugly.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
“Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic!” -Annie Savoy in Bull Durham
During my commute this morning, I was sitting adjacent to a couple who may have been overserved last night. Their conversation immediately brought to mind one of my favorite Dorothy Parker short stories. I’m thrilled that I was able to find it for you. Enjoy!
Pink Teddy looks like I feel. Photo and caption above by Mark Nixon
It’s hard to believe I’m writing another one of these awful notes, and only a week after the last one. I don’t recognize this world. I don’t know where all this hate and violence is coming from. Leaving the analysis and problem solving to bigger brains than mine, I’m going to just keep on keeping on with the beautiful things and hope that some day soon we don’t need them quite so much. Wishing us all better days. ❤
Bathing Bad
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
My OBT 